Category: Featured

43 Relatively Useless Facts About Me and How They Apply to You

43 facts

Today I turn 43. Because I’m not really a cake fan and can’t fit 43 candles on a slice of pie without seriously messing that baby up, I’ve come up with a birthday alternative.

Many people ask about the blogger behind the blog. While I don’t generally like to talk about myself too much (I mostly do it to fill air space), I thought today I would let you all get to know me and mine a little bit better.

Since reading 43 relatively useless facts about me could get rather boring around number 12, and because my 43 years of highs and lows could prove a learning experience to some of you younglings, I’m listing 43 things that you can apply to life in general. This could either be really fun, or really twisted and lame. Either way, let’s launch this bad boy.

43 Things About Me and 43 Life Applications for You

  1. I eat the crusts on my sandwich first, because I never liked the dry wheaty crusts as a kid. Life app: save the best for last…or follow Mark Twain’s advice and eat the “frog” first so everything else tastes good in comparison.
  2. I sometimes eat my favorite things first, because if I save the best for last, it will be cold and not as good, or I might not have room for it, or I might choke on the “frog” and die before I can get to my favorite thing. Life app: be flexible about your life apps.
  3. When I was younger, as in 40, I saw two sleds near some carpeted stairs which ended at a doorway, and I figured that one of my kids would think indoor sledding was a brilliant idea, so I tested the indoor stair sledding idea to see how brilliant it really was. Yee haa! Bad idea. Ironically, when my kids heard me scream and found me at the bottom of the stairs, they said, “Did you really think that was a good idea?” Life app: not everything that looks like a good idea really is, although…that idea could have been brilliant if I had opened the door. That one needs a do over!
  4. I am a recovering hypochondriac. Life app: don’t waste your life worrying about losing your life, because if that’s how you’re living, your life is already lost.
  5. I have bad gums. Life app: floss.
  6. I used to want to be one of 12 children. I even tried to get a group of kids at church to pretend we were the Gilbreth family from the book Cheaper by the Dozen, but they said, “That’s weird.” So I went out and made my own Cheaper by the…Eight. Life app: be who you want to be within God’s guidelines, even if it’s weird. Keep that life app within reason. For example, resist your kleptomaniac tendencies.
  7. I am painfully shy, but I have worked hard since around 16 to not act on it. It is still a daily challenge for me, but I conquer it by thinking of the other person instead of my own discomfort. Life app: shyness is one of the highest forms of selfishness, so stop looking inward and think of others’ needs instead of your own fears. (That life app was from my Grandma. Thanks, Grandma!)
  8. I am a lot like my grandma. Life app: look at the people who come before you and learn from their experiences. It’ll save you time. Also, don’t forget to thank them.
  9. I work hard at not being hurt by the absence of a father in my life, cuz even at 43, a girl needs a daddy. Life app: if you have a dad, however imperfect, appreciate him! If you are a dad, connect with your kids no matter how old they are. And if you don’t have a dad in your life, forgive.
  10. I am paralyzed by clutter and busyness. It affects my mood, my productivity, my very existence. If it is in my control to get rid of clutter and keep a simple schedule, I do it, as evidenced by the trail of donations we leave around the country. If it isn’t, I live in a state of perpetual frustration, inefficiency, and self-beratement. Life app: simplify and declutter!
  11. My non-grammar-related pet peeve is people who ignore other people and instead stare at their cell phones. Life app: make eye contact.
  12. I don’t think people who try to act cool are cool, and neither do my daughters. Life app: be yourself…especially if you’re trying to impress my girls.
  13. I love popcorn, and so do my kids. We didn’t eat it for two years, however, because our oldest daughter can’t have it. Life app: put people first…even ahead of food. I almost can’t believe I said that.
  14. I have low blood sugar and need to eat often or I get strangely sick and cranky…heavy on the cranky. Life app: know your body, manage your conditions so they don’t manage you, and don’t use them as an excuse to be rude to the people around you. Also, if you see me at a potluck, let me go first. Ha ha…except I’m not joking.
  15. I started being afraid of growing old at around age eight. Life app: embrace life every step of the way.
  16. I always wanted to live on a horse farm, but I left the family farm, went to college, joined the choir, met my husband, and now I’m the wife of a traveling musician. That’s totally awesome, even though it’s not what I thought I wanted. Life app: be open to new awesomenesses…like that word I just made up. Here’s another life app: if you have a dream, pursue it–don’t just wait for it.
  17. I’m totally a homebody, but we live on the road full-time. Life app: be adaptable.
  18. I used to have my whole family on a strict diet for intestinal health, since one of my daughters has Crohn’s Disease. My plan was to eat whatever I wanted when I hit 90. Then my grandmother said, “I love eating, which is such a blessing at 86. My mother lost interest in food, but I still enjoy it.” Life app: why wait? Be happy now. (Of course, we still have to manage the dietary issues, so don’t think “happy” means whatever we want it to mean.)
  19. I like cherry soup. People tell me I’m weird. Life app: if you make something that you love and that everyone else thinks is weird (like my famous fried peanut butter and jelly eggs), that only means there’s more for you, so embrace your weirdness.
  20. I don’t drink coffee, because caffeine makes me talk really, really fast and think even faster, but in an oddly unproductive manner. It’s scary. Life app: don’t caffeinate me.
  21. When I was a kid I totally wanted a Whatchamacallit candy bar. One day someone gave me one. I was so excited that I saved it for months waiting for just the right moment to eat it. My dog’s right moment occurred before mine, and he ate it. I’ve never tasted a Whatchamacallit. Life app: enjoy the Whatchamacallits of life today and stop saving them for just the right moment.
  22. I always wanted an electric racetrack like my brothers had. One Christmas my husband got me one, but I was so tired from staying up too late wrapping Christmas presents that I fell asleep on the couch after the gift opening. My husband set up the track, played with it, left it there, and someone stepped on it and broke it. I kept it for several years, thinking I would repair it (stop laughing, brothers and husband), until a wiser me tossed it. Two life apps here: read my book about not driving yourself into a sleep-deprived stupor at Christmas (or any time), and don’t hold onto grudges and broken race tracks. Also, don’t play with other people’s Christmas presents.
  23. I wake up in the middle of the night panicking about my parenting. That only serves to rob me of my sleep and make me a tired, panicked, less useful mother. Life app: do the best you can, turn it over to God, and get a good night’s sleep. Your children will someday be imperfect parents themselves, and either they will understand you better, or they will think they’re far superior to you as parents, in which case you can quietly laugh at them, knowing how little they really know.
  24. Someone in college made me very self-conscious about my crooked teeth, which made me stop smiling, which made me less attractive. Life app taken straight from the 1982 film Little Orphan Annie: “You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” Just smile. Who cares about the crooked teeth!
  25. My then six-year-old son sold his cowboy hat at a garage sale for $2 because “It doesn’t fit, Mama, so I don’t want it anymore. It’s just gonna sit around and take up space.” I used to waste time wishing I had his hat back and replaying the garage sale in my mind. Also, I’m a recovering pack rat. Life app: listen to the wise boy who is doing what you taught him to do–get rid of clutter. Also, get the boy a hat that fits for his birthday.
  26. I used to ride my horse standing up when nobody was looking. Life app: don’t be stupid when nobody’s looking. Always have someone around when you’re being stupid, so they can 1) run and get help when you fall off, 2) tell you how stupid you are…in case you didn’t already know, and 3) take pictures.
  27. When my seventh baby was colicky, I gave up milk, eggs, wheat, and a whole host of other foods. The pediatrician said I should just put her on formula, because nobody would stick to that diet. I stuck to it for almost two years, and I’m currently on a total elimination diet for my eighth child. I tried to do this for myself in the past, but I never could. Doing it for them, however, I am driven. Life app: Find your motivation; it helps if your motivation is cute and smells milky sweet.
  28. When I was in kindergarten, I stood up while the schoolbus was in motion, lost my balance, fell down the front stairs and hit the door. The driver said, “That wouldn’t have happened if you had stayed seated while the bus was moving,” and I said, “That wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t driving too fast.” Life apps–there are three of them: 1) be accountable for your own actions, 2) don’t stand up while the bus is moving, and 3) perhaps most importantly for the preservation of life, don’t be smarmy to a beefy man named Wild Bill who has to put up with 60 disrespectful kids every day–yeah, that’s a good one.
  29. Some people start off really cute, then hit a geeky phase, and finally emerge from it graceful and well-composed. I seem to be stuck in the geeky time warp. Life app: embrace your inner geek…and your glasses and your frizzy hair and your high waters…or get contacts and hair cream and longer pants, but that’s kinda boring and expensive.
  30. I have a severe doctor/dentist phobia. Life app: if you know somebody with a doctor/dentist phobia, go with them. If it’s a spouse, schedule the appointments for them.
  31. I pick my battles. For example, sometimes during my my husband’s concerts, our daughter sings in bare feet and a tiara, because it makes her happy and that’s not the hill I want to die on. Life apps: pick your battles and swap the shoes for a tiara if it makes you smile.
  32. I battle negativity. I have several people in my life who also tend toward the negative, while I have found others who are positive, loving, and encouraging. The difference in how my family feels when we spend time with the negative, critical people versus the loving, encouraging people is unfathomable! Life app: be encouraging…but not an empty flatterer. 
  33. When we go someplace where there are huge crowds, we all wear matching hats so we can easily keep track of each other. Life app: if you go someplace where there are huge crowds, wear matching hats so you can easily keep track of each other.
  34. I don’t like labels. Even though I would technically be considered a baby-wearing, eclectic homeschooling, attachment parenting, extended nursing, semi-real foodie, full-time RVing conservative evangelical Christian missionary blogger and freelance writer, if I saw that label on someone, I would freak out and run away. Freak out! I’m just a person who does that stuff to a manageable degree because it works for my life. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to eat a hot dog with you or that I wouldn’t hang out with you because you use a stroller and I have children hanging off all my limbs. Life app: don’t label people or yourself. It’s scary.
  35. I don’t use God-speak. I’m a Christian through-and-through, but when I hear God-speak, it scares me away. I can’t imagine what a non-Christian would feel like if I God-speaked ’em. Life app: be yourself. You’re far more likely to win people for Christ if they can see that we Christians are real people, too…and that we speak English.
  36. Sometimes I say lame or embarrassing things, and then I lie awake at night replaying the whole affair in my mind. Life app: don’t say lame or embarrassing things. Realistic life app: don’t sweat it. Everyone is lame and embarrassing sometimes. That’s merely a symptom of the incurable condition called “life,” and when you consider the alternative, which is not-life, life’s not all that bad.
  37. I have trouble following through on projects. For example, right about now I’m considering pretending I’m only 37, just so I don’t have to think of six more things to say about myself. Life app: don’t bite off more than you can chew. Learn your limitations and heed them.
  38. When I was a teen, it was like social death for your underwear band or your bra strap to show. Sometimes I start to approach young ladies to let them know that they forgot their shirt, just in case they didn’t know, or to offer to buy young men a belt to avoid that embarrassing pants-below-the-butt look in the future, but my children tell me I will be shot. Life app: sometimes our children know more than we do, so don’t be too proud to learn from them.
  39. Almost every time I pre-judge people, I eat crow. Life app: don’t pre-judge people…or else develop a liking for crow.
  40. I sometimes think my husband should have married someone who could sing better than I can, so he’d have a built-in background vocalist and duetist…rather than someone who makes up words like duetist, but get this–he’s happy with me despite my vocal nuances. Life app: don’t stress over what you’re not. Be what you are and be the best word-maker-upper you that you can be…unless you’re an idiot, in which case, you should read Proverbs.
  41. People at our concerts call me amazing because of our lifestyle. I’m not amazing. I’m an ordinary person serving an extraordinary God in out-of-the-ordinary ways, but that is all. Without Him, I’m nothing. Life app: be something–serve God.
  42. I’ve lost friends for sticking up for unborn children. Life app: do the right thing no matter what.
  43. I like chocolate, but it gives me…ahem…gas. So…sniff sniff…I don’t eat it. Life app: make sacrifices for the comfort of your family…but keep a chocolate stash in your undie drawer for when you’re home alone. (Those were tear sniffs, not whiff sniffs.)

There you go–43 useless facts about me, and 43 potentially useless life apps for you. It’s not as good as pie, but it’ll do.

 

Connecting Children to Their Heritage…With Pie

Connecting Kids to Their Heritage with Pie -- more important (and flavorful) than you think

It’s my grandfather’s birthday. He would have been 91 today if he weren’t already in the arms of Jesus. So today we had two lemon meringue pies for breakfast.

I can see you’re not following me. Let me jump back a few decades.

Grandpa’s birthday is January 29; mine is February 1. I grew up on Grandpa’s farm. He was the father I always wanted, and of all the people on God’s green earth, he is one of those I love best. Every year at the weekend that fell closest to January 29 and February 1, my mom would bake a two-layer poppy seed cake with custard in the middle and seven-minute frosting for me, and a lemon meringue pie for Grandpa. Grandpa’s sister and her husband (my godparents) would come either to his house or ours, and we would all eat Mom’s classic meal of delicious lasagna, amazing potato rolls, and Grandpa’s favorite fruit salad. We’d sing and open presents and have pie and cake with the frosting scraped off (of mine) and wash it all down with tall glasses of cold Wisconsin milk.

That was one of my (many) favorite times, sitting with my grandpa, smiling for Grandma’s polaroid, eating Mom’s lasagna, and watching Grandpa enjoy his pie.

Every year I share those memories with my children. They know it by heart, but they (at least act like they) love to hear it again.

And every year we try to have lemon meringue pie on January 29 and share stories about everyone’s memories of Grandpa, or Big Bubba as my children called him…although he was a slim 6’0″ and not really the Bubba type. That unusual nickname, too, is a story we share.

This annual pie baking connects my children to their heritage. Who cares? I do, and you should. Here’s why:

  1. It’s pie.
  2. It’s Grandpa. I love him. He is vitally important to who I am as a person. Doesn’t it make sense that I should share that with my children, if only to help them understand me a bit better?
  3. It’s Great Grandpa–they knew him and want to remember him and share their joy and sadness and their own special, personal memories of him and their unique bonds.
  4. Connecting to the generations that have gone before helps children see that life did not begin when they did. They are not the axis of the world and the center of the universe. There is much that went before them and much that will come after them.
  5. Regardless of how small you are in the big picture, each person is a special, unique, valuable human being. Look how valuable Grandpa is to us, how seemingly insignificant things–like a timely scolding, a wink and a poke in the stomach, a “come on, Kid; let’s go,” or a side of peanuts and saltines with my ice cream–mattered to the generations that followed.
  6. It gives them an anchor and a sense of belonging to something big–family, and lots of it depending how far back you can take your pie heritage.
  7. It’s a history lesson. When was Grandpa born? When were his parents born? What was their life like?
  8. It puts Justin Bieber and thigh gaps into perspective. Who cares about a teen idol when you talk about my great grandma delivering her firstborn in a log farmhouse at the start of the Great Depression, and about grandpa coming of age on a farm during World War II and raising teens during the 1960s. Life was different once and it will be different in the future, and Bieber’s hair will not even make the who-cares radar.
  9. It shows how faith carries a man through all aspects of life…from birth on earth to “birth” into the next life in heaven. 
  10. It’s a time to remember and to mourn together and to rejoice together.
  11. Did I mention the pie?

Not all my relatives are remembered with pie. Aunt Betty gets mini cheesecakes, my grandma gets her mom’s molasses cake, and my other grandpa gets chicken booyah, because he was the state booyah king. But still, the date goes on the official family calendar for what it is: Big Bubba’s Lemon Meringue Pie Day. It is anticipated and enjoyed, and the memories and lessons of an amazing life are cemented a little further.

Plus, who doesn’t want an excuse for homemade pie?

If you want to launch Family Pie Heritage celebrations, it’s simple. Put the dates on the calendar and make it happen. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Just add dessert to dinner or switch up the menu that night, or watch that person’s favorite movie that week–and share memories. Simple, but memorable.

I miss you Grandpa. We all do.

How to Fry an Egg

This post contains affiliate links and an egg-frying technique. Beware. 

Embarrassing Confession: Until last month I couldn’t fry a decent egg to save my family. Life wasn’t always so grim. I used to fry eggs just fine. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but that didn’t seem to matter. I had a pretty good egg-frying track record. I temporarily thought I was endowed with a little extra magic in the kitchen or maybe a bit of beginner’s luck. Then somehow, I lost my egg-frying abilities. It was a sad day fifteen years. I now know it wasn’t beginner’s luck or talent that landed the rare identifiable egg on my hubby’s plate–it was just God offering my hungry husband a little mercy.

Now, however, I can fry an egg like a pro because I learned from the pros. You may think this is no big deal and a ridiculous post, but I can guarantee you there is a Frustrated Someone out there searching “How to fry a stinkin’ egg already!” I get you, Frustrated Someone. I totally get you.

I learned how to fry a stinkin’ egg (and do other amazing-to-me things in the kitchen) from the book my hungry husband gave me for Christmas, entitled The America’s Test Kitchen Cooking School Cookbook: Everything You Need to Know to Become a Great Cook. It’s a big title and an even bigger book.

In case you think my husband’s a big fat meanie, I requested the book after one too many broken eggs and dry roasts.

Anyway, this really isn’t about the book. It’s about how to fry a stinkin’ egg already! (This is a bad picture of my stinkin’ eggs, but when you live in a trailer and shoot with a cell phone, it’s how egg pictures look. Trust me that the rest of my eggs looked much better than the eggs in this picture, but we were so excited that I was making consistently (instead of randomly and rarely) awesome eggs that we ate the stinkin’ things with no pictures.)

How to Fry an Egg ... because some of us just can't.

How to Fry a Stinkin’ Egg

(According to America’s Test Kitchen, with some additions from l’il ol’ me)

What You Need:

  • non-stick pan–8 or 9 inches for 2 eggs, 10 inches for 4 (I just use what I have)
  • butter–about 1.5 teaspoons per 2-4 eggs (3 teaspoons is a tablespoon–memorize it)
  • stinkin’ eggs–2 per person is reasonable, eh?
  • spatula (turner)
  • timer

What You Do:

  1. Heat the pan over medium-high heat for five minutes. Set your timer.
  2. Meanwhile, crack the eggs on a flat surface, not on the edge of the bowl or pan. Why not? Because minuscule egg shell fragments may be forced into the egg, and you won’t see them and then you’re swallowing little shell shards and making your intestines cry. Nobody wants weepy intestines.
  3. Put the eggs in a cute little bowl, two eggs to a bowl. If you’re making four eggs, use two bowls. That way the eggs all go in at the same time and get done at the same time. Eggs like everything to be fair.
  4. After the pan has been heating for five minutes, toss the butter into the pan. When I say toss, you know I mean place gently, right?
  5. Tip the pan to melt the butter and coat the pan. The butter should melt in under a minute. If it takes longer than a minute, your pan is not hot enough–heat it longer. If your butter burns during that minute, your pan is too hot–start over, and, uh, it’s okay to cry a little, too. I mean, it’s butter!
  6. Gently tip the cute little egg-bearing bowls and gently deposit the eggs into the properly heated pan. Don’t plop them in from the heavens. Get down in there.
  7. Hurry scurry like a little bunny and salt and pepper those babies, unless your preschooler is eating them and doesn’t like pepper. Test Kitchen Guru says 4 parts salt to one part pepper. I just shake-a shake-a, but remember, my husband is a hungry man.
  8. Quickly cover the pan to maintain the temperature. If your pan doesn’t have a cover, do what my brother does and plop a cookie sheet on top. If your cover has a little steam vent, don’t do what younger and dumber me did and plug the vent with your finger. Moving on.
  9. Cook for 2 minutes, and then do a quick peek to check the eggs to see if they are to your liking. “Done” means the membrane over the yolk is white. If you like the yolk hard, cook it longer. I’m more of a 3.25-minute egg girl myself. I also like peanut butter on my eggs, so you shouldn’t go by my likes.
  10. At this point you have some options. My mom adds a splash of water to the pan to steam the eggs and cook the tops better. I flip some of my eggs when they’re nearly done and firmly set, because the people I feed like the yolks better that way. Test Kitchen Guru leaves them alone. You, Frustrated Someone, can choose.

That’s it. It’s really simple. Still, I’m going to talk on. These next points are embarrassingly obvious, but if you’re reading this to learn how to fry an egg, Frustrated Someone, you and I need people to point out the obvious. There’s no shame in that. No shame.

  • Please don’t overcook your eggs. You can always cook them a little longer, but you can’t uncook them, unless you call giving them to your dog and starting over uncooking.
  • Toast your bread while you’re waiting.
  • Have softened butter available to spread on your hot toast. Well-buttered toast helps ease the pain in case your egg fry fails. I like to pop my toast in the pan after I pull the eggs out.
  • Use a really good skillet. While I’m all about taking accountability for your actions, you really can blame this failure on the tools.
  • Don’t get distracted by a four-year-old and the word “eggs” and go off and read Green Eggs and Ham and forget that you’re frying eggs. That’s what timers are for! Also, seriously, never leave the stove unattended and scamper off on an outdoor adventure and have to call the house from the back 40 to ask someone to take your stinkin’ eggs off the stinkin’ burner and feed them to the stinkin’ dog who will be very sad you’re finally learning how to cook in a way that people will eat it.

In summary:

  1. Preheat pan for five minutes.
  2. Add butter.
  3. Gently add eggs.
  4. Season.
  5. Cover.
  6. Cook.
  7. Check.
  8. Serve.

Go for it, Frustrated Someone! Go fry an egg!

Now, I know you must have a cooking challenge of your own. If you share it in the comments, I would be happy to look it up in my cool fun new Cooking School book and write about it.  So happy!

Homemade Hot Cocoa Recipe

I don’t drink cocoa, because it gives me gas. I’m glad we cleared the air on that sensitive topic.

Snicker.

Moving on.

The thing I love about homemade hot cocoa is that it’s simple to put in the dairy or non-dairy products and sweeteners that you wish to meet everybody’s needs and preferences. Blah blah blah. What I really like is that it tastes so stinkin’ awesome!

Simply Delicious Hot Cocoa Recipes with Dairy-Free Alternatives

I’m giving you a basic recipe which is great as it is, because I’m all about simple, or it can be spruced up or adjusted. It’s your job to alter it to your needs and liking.

Homemade Hot Cocoa

Ingredients:

  • 1/3 cup cocoa powder
  • 1/3 to 3/4 cup sugar (to your liking) (I tend toward 1/2 cup, but most will choose more. My daughter uses honey.)
  • 1 pinch salt (optional–I use it because I look cool tossing a pinch of salt into a beverage)
  • 1/3 cup water
  • 3 cups milk (any kind–we use whole, coconut, or almond)
  • 1 cup cream or half-n-half (or an extra cup of milk)
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla (optional)

Optional add-ins:

  • whipped cream
  • chocolate chips of any variety
  • cinnamon or cinnamon sticks
  • marshmallows
  • peppermint sticks or candy canes
  • coffee or espresso
  • peanut butter

Directions:

  1. Mix all dry ingredients together.
  2. Boil the water in a heavy saucepan.
  3. Dissolve the dry ingredients in the boiling water by whisking over medium heat for about two minutes–keep it to a simmer.
  4. Add the milk and heat it until it’s hot, whisking continually. Do not boil. Pay close attention, because milk burns faster than I lose my train of thought.
  5. Remove the deliciousness from the heat.
  6. Add the cream or half-n-half and the vanilla.
  7. Divide the sweet deliciousness between four mugs, unless your cocoa drinkers are little, in which case it might stretch into six or eight, especially if you fill half a mug with marshmallows.
  8. Add more cream to cool if needed…or just wait.

I know you’re asking “Why water? Can’t I just boil the milk? Can’t I just stir the powders into the milk? Can’t I just use the packets from Swiss Miss?”

Because a very hot liquid will dissolve the sugar. No, because it might curdle or burn. Yes, but it might be a little gritty. If you like Swiss Miss, drink Swiss Miss–it’s certainly easier, and you just can’t argue with tiny little marshmallows with their tiny marshmallow cuteness.

Related Recipes:

  • This Tres Leche Cocoa looks fantabulous! Oh, yummity yum yum yum!
  • Allergic to dairy? How about this oh-so-scrumptious Almond Hot Cocoa!
  • If you’re allergic to dairy and nuts, here’s a recipe for Coconut Milk Hot Chocolate. It is sweetened with honey, but you can use the sweetener of your choice, because America is great like that.
  • If you’re not allergic to anything or you’re allergic to everything and you want to die in complete bliss, you have to try this Whipped Hot Chocolate recipe.

Homeschool Helps:

For your science studies, answer the ever-fascinating question, “Where does chocolate come from?”

For your home economics class, learn this relevant skill which I hope you don’t need today: How to remove burned milk from a saucepan.

Here’s the boring printable version.

Homemade Hot Cocoa Recipe
Recipe Type: Beverage
Author: Christy, The Simple Homemaker
Prep time:
Total time:
Serves: 4 cups
This basic recipe can be adjusted to fit anybody’s needs or preferences. Don’t be afraid to experiment..a lot.
Ingredients
  • Main ingredients:
  • 1/3 cup cocoa powder
  • 1/3 to 3/4 cup sugar or other sweetener (to your liking)
  • 1 pinch salt (optional)
  • 1/3 cup water
  • 3 cups milk (any kind–we use whole, coconut, or almond)
  • 1 cup cream or half-n-half (or an extra cup of milk)
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla (optional)
  • Optional add-ins:
  • whipped cream
  • chocolate chips of any variety
  • cinnamon or cinnamon sticks
  • marshmallows
  • peppermint sticks or candy canes
  • coffee or espresso
  • peanut butter
Instructions
  1. Mix all dry ingredients together.
  2. Boil the water in a heavy saucepan.
  3. Dissolve the dry ingredients in the boiling water by whisking over medium heat for about two minutes–keep it to a simmer.
  4. Add the milk and heat it until it’s hot, whisking continually. Do not boil. Pay close attention, because milk burns faster than I lose my train of thought.
  5. Remove the deliciousness from the heat.
  6. Add the cream or half-n-half and the vanilla.
  7. Divide the sweet deliciousness between four mugs, unless your cocoa drinkers are little, in which case it might stretch into six or eight, especially if you fill half a mug with marshmallows.
  8. Add more cream to cool if needed…or just wait.

 

How to Thaw a Turkey (Even at the Last Minute)

How To Thaw a Turkey (Even at the Last Minute)

When it comes to thawing turkey, we’ve got your back with these guidelines garnered from Butterball and Cook’s Country:

How to Thaw a Turkey

If you have 3-5 days, follow this guide:

  1. Move the turkey from the freezer to the refrigerator.
  2. Leave it in the wrapping it came in.
  3. For some reason which I don’t know, Butterball says to thaw it breast side up.
  4. To keep it from leaking all over everything else in your fridge, place it in a large baking pan or tray.
  5. Allot a day for every four pounds of turkey. That means a twelve-pounder will take three days, a twenty-pounder will take five days, and, if you’re roasting Big Bird, you should probably start thawing in July.

How to Thaw a Turkey at the Last Minute

If you pulled the major oops and forgot about your turkey until the day before you need your bird (or the day of), follow this guide:

  1. Leave the bird in the wrapping.
  2. Plop the frozen bird in water. Make sure it is completely covered. You can use a cooler, a five-gallon bucket, the sink, or, hey, your bathtub. Changing the water frequently will speed up the process.
  3. This method requires an hour for two pounds, so, again, 12 pounds is 6 hours, 20 pounds is 10 hours, Big Bird is–you know, this roasted Big Bird talk is morbid and disgusting.

When your bird is thawed, you have two to four days to get it from thawed to cooked, so don’t get too distracted and forget about your bird.

Just so you know, the term “last minute” is figurative. If you literally forgot to thaw the turkey until the minute it was supposed to go in the oven, turn on the game, order pizza, and invite everyone back tomorrow. It will make a great story to tell your daughter-in-law when she forgets to thaw her turkey.

If you’re interested in a super juicy bird, don’t forget to brine your turkey.

Okay, this is your time to “shine.” What’s your best “forgot to thaw the bird” story? 

My story: I’ve never forgotten to thaw a bird, but I did set one inside the garage door when I came home from the grocery store and forgot it there…for days. Why didn’t I notice it? Apparently, I rarely used that door, and also it was a buy-one-get-one-free sale, so the other turkey was getting all the pre-Thanksgiving TLC. We smelled found it eventually.

Photo thanks: Tim Sackton (changes mine)

 

364 Days to Overwhelming Gratitude

My favorite holiday is so close I can almost smell it–creamy mashed potatoes with oodles of butter, my mom’s fresh potato rolls with oodles of butter, my daughter’s homemade stuffing with oodles of butter. Except this year, I can’t eat butter. Our baby has an allergy–we can’t figure out the culprit, but for now Mama is on an elimination diet which means Thanksgiving dinner is going to look more like turkey and green beans–no butter.

And that’s okay. I’m still super excited for Thanksgiving.

Why? Because it’s not about the food. It’s not even about the pie if you can believe I’m saying that. It’s about the thanks.

364 Days to Overwhelming Gratitude


Which brings us to Thanksgiving pet peeve number one:

Random Citizen: “I’m thankful for this and that and that and this.”

Great, but who gets your thanks, Random Citizen? The air? The fates? The universe? They don’t want your thanks and they certainly don’t deserve it. God does.

You knew there’d be a Thanksgiving pet peeve number two:

Even though I am running 26 Days of Thanksgiving in Photos on my Facebook page, I don’t like those “gimmicks.”

Why not? They’re great! You’re such a humbug. That’s why you named your son Ebenezer.

Chill–good grief. I don’t like them because they end. We focus on Thanksgiving for a day, perhaps a month, and then it bluntly ends like this sentence. Done. Bam. No more.

It’s time to reconcile both of those pet peeves.

Pastor Andrew Schroer who shepherds a friendly bilingual Christian church out in a li’l ol’ western town in Texas wrote a devotional journal called 364 Days of Thanksgiving. In it, Andy encourages us to:

  1. 364 Days of ThanksgivingBe thankful every day.
  2. Address our thanks to God.

I love it when something single-handedly (or single-pagedly) decimates my pet peeves, don’t you? Of course you do. It gets better.

364 Days of Thanksgiving is also a journal, providing space for you to write down one thing to be thankful for each day–even I can handle that. The trick is it has to be something different, so you can’t do this:

  • Day 1–cookies
  • Day 2–cookies
  • Day 3–cookies
  • Day 4–cookies
  • Day 5–cookies
  • Day 6–cookies

I’m not sure if you can do this:

  • Day 1–chocolate chip cookies without nuts
  • Day 2–chocolate chip cookies with nuts
  • Day 3–cookies after church
  • Day 4–Great Grandma’s molasses cookies
  • Day 5–getting the last cookie in the jar before Steve does
  • Day 6–secretly enjoying the cookie I hid in my sock drawer after everyone else went to bed

Probably not.

What about day 365? Dickens said we Americans had it backward (he actually said backwards with an S, being British) when we gripe all year and thank one day. He says we should thank 364 days and gripe one day. Andy one-ups good ol’ Dickens: on day 365 you sit down with the last cookie from your sock drawer and read over the entire journal showing how God (not the universe) has blessed you.

Do you see what’s happening here? By focusing on gratitude for an entire year, you become more grateful and more aware of your blessings. Instead of griping over the lack of oodles of butter, you rejoice over the potatoes. Gratitude becomes a habit, and you become a grateful dry potato eater instead of a disgruntled butter lover. It’s a beautiful transformation!

Andrew Schroer and his Beautiful Bride
Andy with his stunning bride, Clariza

While I might possibly still have your attention, know this: 364 Days of Thanksgiving is not filled with blank pages awaiting your thanks. Andy fills it with encouragement and the great stories (parables, really) that his parishioners expect to hear when he steps up to the pulpit.

Now, if you’re following along on our Twelve Weeks of a Simple Christmas missions, you could finish a huge chunk of your Christmas list with just this book. No lie…because I don’t lie…except that one time which is none of your business but which really makes me grateful for Jesus and forgiveness.

Buy 364 Days of Thanksgiving for your Kindle or in hold-it-in-your-hand-and-smell-the-pages format at Amazon (affiliate link) or as an ebook or hardcover book here. You can also find a related Bible study for groups and a sermon series for pastor’s here in both CD and downloadable formats.

You won’t be sorry; in fact, 364 days from now you’ll be overwhelmingly grateful.

 

20 Ways to Help a Loved One in Need

20 Ways to Help a Loved One in Need {Free Printable}


I remember the weeks that our eldest daughter was in the hospital where she was ultimately diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, and I vividly recall the first several months back home. She was 14. She could barely walk or eat. I was very sick thanks to growing our sweet baby number seven. Steve was handling the groceries and follow-up testing and appointments while struggling to hold onto our business in a plunging economy in the Vegas area.

It was a trying time and, looking back, I can’t feasibly comprehend how we mere mortals survived that period.

If not for the grace of God…

Some people offered to help. We should have accepted. Honestly, though, when someone says, “Let me know if I can help,” you never let them know. We don’t, anyway.

Why not?

“Let me know” feels rather like a “How do you do?” from a passing acquaintance; the greeting merely expects a “Fine, and you?” They don’t really want to hear about your aunt’s illness and your daughter’s grades in school and your auto repairs. It feels that same way with a “let me know,” doesn’t it?

That said, there was one family who looked us in the eye and said, “You tell us how we can help. You know we mean that.” And we knew…but we didn’t ask. There were also a couple relatives who volunteered to fly out and help. We didn’t accept. Why in tarnation not?

Here’s Why People Like Us Don’t Ask For Help

We were so wrapped up in the medical decisions and the basics of survival, that we couldn’t think of what to ask for, we couldn’t manage the logistics of airport pick-ups, wheels, and accommodations for helpers, and we certainly didn’t want to burden others with the remainder of our life issues which we could somehow struggle to manage on our own, being the independent do-it-yourselfers that we are.

We could manage to get some sort of food on the table. We could manage to keep everyone in clean clothes to some extent. We could manage to drive over an hour away to take care of the dog and drive back to the hospital and charity house. We could. It would have been a whole lot easier if we didn’t have to manage food and laundry and dog care while managing a very sick child and five very concerned other children and a brand new baby.

It’s ridiculous that we didn’t ask for help, I know, but how many times haven’t you done this same thing? Be honest.

After a birth, following a miscarriage or other death, during an illness or while being diagnosed, during financial hardships, when a mama is newly pregnant and puking up her rib cage, during a move, after debilitating news–those are all times when people need help, and that’s okay. 

Let’s see how we can offer help to someone in a manner that will be effective, rather than make them think they’re begging for help or imposing on others.

20 Ways to Help a Loved One in Need {Includes a Free Printable}

20 Ways to Help a Loved One in Need

  • Instead of saying, “Let me know if I can help,” rephrase it to “I sincerely want to help. Please tell me what I can do. I mean this with all my heart.” This is the bare minimum. They will still probably not tell you how you can help. We wouldn’t.
  • Give them a list of ways you can help and say, “Pick three.” Stand there until they do, or say you’ll call in a day or two to get an answer.
  • Can you cook? Everyone needs to eat. Tell the family that you will be bringing dinner some time this week (or every Wednesday for a month), and to pick the best date for them. That leaves no asking on their part–just thanking. Be sure you ask about food sensitivities. While they would appreciate any food, often the family-in-crisis resorts to quick and filling and would love something healthy and homemade.
  • Slip a grocery or gas gift card in their mailbox or hand. Everyone needs those. If you’re a close friend or family member, steal the car for an hour (when they don’t need it) and fill it with gas; you might consider running it through a car wash while you’re at it.
  • Drop a bag of groceries off at their home, maybe with a family-friendly movie or a puzzle tucked in. Tell them you’re coming and say, “Set a cooler out front to let me know you’re too tired for company, and I won’t come in and bother you. If there’s no cooler, I’ll knock.”
  • Are you good with kids? Say this: “I would love to pick your kids up Thursday and bring them over for crafts and cookie baking if you’re comfortable with that. Otherwise, I would be more than happy to come and watch them so you can run errands or take a shower and a nap. Don’t feel obligated to socialize with me.”
  • Say this: “I’m coming over to do your laundry. No arguments! I’ve seen dirty undies before, so don’t hide them before I get there.” (That last part is important.)
  • Say this: “I’m coming over to clean your house, not because you’re a slob, but because you need a break. You can take a nap while I’m cleaning.” Or give them a gift certificate for a cleaning person with the same “not because you’re a slob” explanation.
  • If you are a long distance relative, say this: “I really want to help. Would it be helpful if I came and stayed to help, or would it be more work to have me there. Please be honest.” And while you’re there, please be helpful. We’ve had “helpful” guests that were far more work than help.
  • If you live far away or don’t have the time, order food to be delivered. You can also have toilet paper and other necessities delivered through Amazon.
  • Go with them. Doctor visits and hearing diagnoses are scary. Funeral arrangements are confusing. Bankruptcy proceedings are humiliating. Go along and hold a hand.
  • Send cards, emails, and well-wishes often. Often! People generally offer help and sympathy immediately after a difficult event, such as the start of an illness or a diagnosis; the prayers and sentiments commonly fall off after a short time.
  • Get techy. Ask if they are on Care Pages, Caring Bridge, or another online update site via which you can follow their medical progress. Get the Stand With app and encourage your friend or family member to do the same.
  • Sit with them. Some people simply want to feel less lonely, less scared, less…different. Sit with them and chat, laugh, cry, pray. Put your phone away during this time.
  • Be understanding. Sometimes fear and pain elicit the worst in us; be patient through these moments.
  • Ask. Then listen. Nothing’s worse than the whole world pretending your problem doesn’t exist, or switching the conversation to their cat or their kid’s grades every time you bring up your struggle. Well, I’m sure something’s worse than that, but when you’re immersed in pain, being ignored or compared to someone’s cat or a 3rd grade report card belittles your hurt.
  • Give the family or couple some movie tickets. Offer to sit with all the kids or with the ill person if she or he cannot go. During a crisis, couple time becomes time spent in doctors’ offices and waiting rooms–not the most romantic setting. Often the financial toll a situation takes is almost as intense as the main issue–what may be no biggie to you is huge to that family, like a couple movie tickets or a trip to the zoo.
  • Take over their jobs at church or other volunteer locations…with permission, of course.
  • Enlist a group of people to provide meals for a while, take shifts with babysitting, visit, whatever! Look within your church for this group–even if the person doesn’t attend a church, it’s a great introduction to the imperfect but loving heart of the Christian.
  • Listen. (I know I already said this, but it’s important.) Let them grumble, cry, scream, sulk, whatever! And don’t say anything stupid or critical in the process. The stuff your loved one is going through is hard–if you haven’t been there, you can’t comprehend the depth of the pain. Don’t judge, don’t gossip, don’t try to fix, don’t say, “well if you only–“, don’t roll your eyes–just listen.

Might I add, please don’t expect a thank you note. People are in such a haze during trying times, that sometimes they can’t even remember who helped or how they survived, much less muster the energy to write a note. Do it for the person, not for the credit.

I have received multiple requests for permission to print this to share at women’s conventions, funerals, hospitals, and the like. Please, friends, do share. To make that easier, click here or on the image below for a printable version.

FREE Printable: 20 Ways to Help a Loved One in Need

Here is a great post from someone else’s experience with a few more helpful actions that would truly show you care.

What are your best tips for helping someone in need?