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Teach Your Kids About the Election Process {Homeschool Review}

Just so you know: I was given a free download of HISTORY Through the Ages Hands-on History Lap-Pak: U.S. Elections by the amazing Home School in the Woods to review. All opinions are my own–okay, that’s a lie. Some of the opinions are actually my kids’, but rest assured that they’re not easily influenced…except by chocolate.

Anyone who knows my roadschooling/life approach knows I am totally into simple. Simple to me involves no printing, photocopying, or gathering of supplies. It means not following directions for numerous little projects. It means not having activities to store for later use and assembly. After all, the ten of us (twelve if you count the furbies) occupy 240 square feet of living space (360 if you count our van)!

That right there is why I do not do lapbooks. Still, when we were given the chance to study the election process by reviewing HISTORY Through the Ages Hands-on History Lap-Pak: U.S. Elections from Home School in the Woods, I bit. After all, two of our girls are voting in their first election this year, and our younger children are asking a lot of questions. I wanted to do the election study with my first, fourth, seventh, and ninth graders and my preschool tag-along in place of our regular U.S, history and government studies, even though it meant suffering through what I was certain would be a home-cluttering, time-sucking lapbook process.

Grimace.

Hold that thought.

Before I get into the lapbooking process and projects, I want to talk about the information that comes with the elections lapbook, because, ultimately, it’s about the learning experience. Right? Right. The “text” is fantastic! The information is succinct, interesting, and informative. It’s well-written and respectful, accessible, but not dumbed down. It is also not politically biased…although I am, so don’t expect that same courtesy here. Wink.

After overhearing a few of our classes, my 17-year-old college freshman said, “Hey, I’m picking up a few things I didn’t know!” Ditto here!

My lapbook was available through digital download, but you can also get the disc. The text can then be printed on regular paper and popped in a binder or printed according to easy-to-follow-even-if-you-were-up-all-night-with-a-baby directions and formed into little booklets. We made the booklets by copying the pages on different colors (because everyone has a favorite) and sewing the binding together with darning needles and embroidery floss…even the four-year-old. We popped holes in the book for her to sew through, and she did the rest on her own with a little tying help from a big sister.

I was pleasantly pleased with the depth of the election study, and I highly recommend it for your grade-schoolers. You get that, right? But the question for our lifestyle (roadschoolers, space-challenged, budget-conscious, clutter-phobic) is the feasibility of lapbooking.

I was right–lapbooking involves printing, copying, many papers, projects in progress, storing papers, organizing papers, gluing, taping, cutting. Grimace. I hate printing! I hate papers!

And my kids?

They…they…well…

They loved it! They loved all the projects. They loved participating in the short, but informative lessons and being set loose on the reinforcing projects. They loved all of it!

And they learned! They learned a lot, and they did their work without being told. I loved that. And, to be honest, I didn’t really mind the papers. The directions were comprehensible; the activities were fun; the papers didn’t haunt my dreams in the night. I know–humble pie. I truly enjoyed our elections lapbook project with my side of pie.

Here is how we handled the lapbooks in our limited space:

I bit the bullet and jumped in with both feet–wow, double cliche! All papers were printed at once, copied in quadruplicate, separated by lesson, and marked with post-it notes so I could grab the pages I needed for the lesson quickly and easily. I kept them all together with a binding clip in my school briefcase. (It’s not really a briefcase, but that sounds nice and official, doesn’t it?)
With each lesson the projects (sometimes multiple, since we discussed lessons without their corresponding projects on driving days and tackled the projects on stationary days) were passed out and put in that child’s paper binding clip. The kids kept those inside their binders, schoolbags, or organizer boxes, depending on their preferences.
Completed projects were kept in a gallon-size Ziploc bag…technically a Great Value bag, but who wants to get technical?
Because we don’t have all the supplies most families do, and can’t really buy them due to budget and storage constraints, we didn’t do the projects exactly as described, but, to quote every other homeschooler on the planet who has, at times, not followed directions, “Isn’t that the beauty of homeschooling?”
Projects were attached to three-hole-punched card stock and kept in the kids’ binders. Why such a “normal” approach? Because we have very little shelf space, and it is “rummaged” every day. To keep the lapbook pages nice and accessible, they need to be protected. Therefore, binders.

By the way, this is what a completed lapbook is supposed to look like…had we followed the directions:

Am I a convert to lapbooks? Yes and no. I will not be using them on a consistent basis, because the kids do need to spread out to do their projects, and there is too much paper involved and space required for our travel trailer livin’. (This would probably be more feasible for a more organized mama or someone in a house that doesn’t move.) On the other hand, I am definitely going to start including them more often, especially the well written lapbooks from Home School in the Woods.

Why?

The kids really learned!
They love doing the projects.
I love that they can do projects relatively independently and reinforce what they learned in the lesson in a fun manner.
I love the creativity exhibited.
While there was a considerable amount of initial prep, there wasn’t a huge amount of work on a daily basis.
It’s a great shift in the dynamic of the week. We rushed the study for the review purposes, but if we were to have spread this out over a few months, it would have been a perfect speed, and would have offered something different and fun to do each week, especially leading up to the November elections. It really wasn’t overwhelming the way we did it, but it would have been perfect slowed down a bit.

I highly recommend the elections lapbook from Home School in the Woods for your grade schoolers. If paper-phobic me can do it…you’re good.

(By the way, while I included my ninth grader, she mostly participated in the discussions, and only assisted in the lapbook projects when our preschool tag-along wanted her help. She also is doing a follow-up study of Uncle Eric’s book Are You Liberal, Conservative, or Confused?)

For ideas from more traditional homeschoolers, check out what these other Schoolhouse Review Crew reviewers have to say:

Do you do lapbooks? How do you handle them?

Mostly Measurable, Manageable February Goals

How did you do on your January goals?

If you did great, great! If you overdid your goals, cut back for February. Remember, make it manageable.

Remember the ridiculously obvious rules for our mostly measurable, manageable monthly goals:

They should be mostly measurable.
It’s manageable.
It’s a monthly goal.

My list is shorter this month than last, because–confession time–I overdid it last month. And because my baby is at mobile stage which makes life trickier…and so crazy fun!

Here are my mostly measurable manageable monthly goals for February:

Family Habits

Breakfast Bible: finish reading Mark aloud.
Monthly family manner: eye contact. We’re still working on this one.
Monthly family home care habit: keeping the van clean. Because we live on the road, we have a road trip every couple of days. If we don’t clean it every single time, it gets out of control.
Monthly character trait: practice finding the positives. This was something we started last year, but it’s going to continue.
Prayer: continue strengthening the family prayer habit.

Family Fun

Have one game night focused on the older group.
Have one game night focused on the younger group.
Celebrate National Pizza Day on February 9.
Bake a peach pie. It’s the Year of the Pie.
Have a Filipino feast! Lumpia, adobo, pancit–I’m drooling!
Reinstate movie night elections or rotation.

Homeschooling

Write two letters each…including mama!
Continue reading aloud The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain.
Teach omelet skills.
Hannah: Continue monthly goal sessions; edit her completed articles. (She writes faster than I edit these days, so I’m behind.) Also continue query class.
Marissa: Find a testing center in Sacramento for two college tests.
Order books for test prep for Marissa’s upcoming management classes.
Complete the Homeschool in the Woods elections study with middle five.
Launch Henty’s Dragon and the Raven study with everybody! So fun!
Start Here to Help Teaching’s writing lessons with Elijah (10) and Rebecca (7).
Continue Schoolhouse Teacher’s Charlotte Mason preschool with Eliana (4).
Continue Slow and Steady, Get Me Ready with Judah (6 months).

Music Mission

Write March 2016 newsletter.
Continue 2016 thank you notes.
Update subscriber list.

Health

Work dog and self up to 30 minute walks by the end of the month.
Continue the two-a-week treat limit in churches
Add seven foods back into my diet. I’m on a total elimination diet for my nursing baby, and I’m currently up to ten foods I can eat.
Find a supplement that works for my baby–just do it!
Make two family dessert night treats that Hannah can eat. (No dairy, grains, sugar, processed anything.)
Continue food/symptom journal.
Schedule a doctor’s appointment–a major phobia of mine.

Writing

Write four non-sponsored, non-review posts here…for you lovely people! This counts as one. Hooray!
Write three posts at The Travel Bags.
Draft my article assignment for Pregnancy & Newborn magazine.
Write a post for Homeschooling with Heart blog.
Send one pitch. Done!
Edit one chapter in my book.

Personal

Beginning Ash Wednesday, read 40 Days of Decrease.
Read Trumbull’s Hints on Child Training.
Read Nagel’s Cure Tooth Decay.
Read G. K. Chesterton’s The Innocence of Father Brown (free Kindle version here). Elisabeth read it, and I like to keep up with my kids, in case topics need discussing, and because it’s fun.
Journal weekly.
Smile more.
Master omelets from America’s Test Kitchen Cooking School Cookbook.
Continue deleting emails and unsubscribing and don’t sign up for any new subscriptions all month…or else.

What are your goals for February?

43 Relatively Useless Facts About Me and How They Apply to You

Today I turn 43. Because I’m not really a cake fan and can’t fit 43 candles on a slice of pie without seriously messing that baby up, I’ve come up with a birthday alternative.

Many people ask about the blogger behind the blog. While I don’t generally like to talk about myself too much (I mostly do it to fill air space), I thought today I would let you all get to know me and mine a little bit better.

Since reading 43 relatively useless facts about me could get rather boring around number 12, and because my 43 years of highs and lows could prove a learning experience to some of you younglings, I’m listing 43 things that you can apply to life in general. This could either be really fun, or really twisted and lame. Either way, let’s launch this bad boy.

43 Things About Me and 43 Life Applications for You

I eat the crusts on my sandwich first, because I never liked the dry wheaty crusts as a kid. Life app: save the best for last…or follow Mark Twain’s advice and eat the “frog” first so everything else tastes good in comparison.
I sometimes eat my favorite things first, because if I save the best for last, it will be cold and not as good, or I might not have room for it, or I might choke on the “frog” and die before I can get to my favorite thing. Life app: be flexible about your life apps.
When I was younger, as in 40, I saw two sleds near some carpeted stairs which ended at a doorway, and I figured that one of my kids would think indoor sledding was a brilliant idea, so I tested the indoor stair sledding idea to see how brilliant it really was. Yee haa! Bad idea. Ironically, when my kids heard me scream and found me at the bottom of the stairs, they said, “Did you really think that was a good idea?” Life app: not everything that looks like a good idea really is, although…that idea could have been brilliant if I had opened the door. That one needs a do over!
I am a recovering hypochondriac. Life app: don’t waste your life worrying about losing your life, because if that’s how you’re living, your life is already lost.
I have bad gums. Life app: floss.
I used to want to be one of 12 children. I even tried to get a group of kids at church to pretend we were the Gilbreth family from the book Cheaper by the Dozen, but they said, “That’s weird.” So I went out and made my own Cheaper by the…Eight. Life app: be who you want to be within God’s guidelines, even if it’s weird. Keep that life app within reason. For example, resist your kleptomaniac tendencies.
I am painfully shy, but I have worked hard since around 16 to not act on it. It is still a daily challenge for me, but I conquer it by thinking of the other person instead of my own discomfort. Life app: shyness is one of the highest forms of selfishness, so stop looking inward and think of others’ needs instead of your own fears. (That life app was from my Grandma. Thanks, Grandma!)
I am a lot like my grandma. Life app: look at the people who come before you and learn from their experiences. It’ll save you time. Also, don’t forget to thank them.
I work hard at not being hurt by the absence of a father in my life, cuz even at 43, a girl needs a daddy. Life app: if you have a dad, however imperfect, appreciate him! If you are a dad, connect with your kids no matter how old they are. And if you don’t have a dad in your life, forgive.
I am paralyzed by clutter and busyness. It affects my mood, my productivity, my very existence. If it is in my control to get rid of clutter and keep a simple schedule, I do it, as evidenced by the trail of donations we leave around the country. If it isn’t, I live in a state of perpetual frustration, inefficiency, and self-beratement. Life app: simplify and declutter!
My non-grammar-related pet peeve is people who ignore other people and instead stare at their cell phones. Life app: make eye contact.
I don’t think people who try to act cool are cool, and neither do my daughters. Life app: be yourself…especially if you’re trying to impress my girls.
I love popcorn, and so do my kids. We didn’t eat it for two years, however, because our oldest daughter can’t have it. Life app: put people first…even ahead of food. I almost can’t believe I said that.
I have low blood sugar and need to eat often or I get strangely sick and cranky…heavy on the cranky. Life app: know your body, manage your conditions so they don’t manage you, and don’t use them as an excuse to be rude to the people around you. Also, if you see me at a potluck, let me go first. Ha ha…except I’m not joking.
I started being afraid of growing old at around age eight. Life app: embrace life every step of the way.
I always wanted to live on a horse farm, but I left the family farm, went to college, joined the choir, met my husband, and now I’m the wife of a traveling musician. That’s totally awesome, even though it’s not what I thought I wanted. Life app: be open to new awesomenesses…like that word I just made up. Here’s another life app: if you have a dream, pursue it–don’t just wait for it.
I’m totally a homebody, but we live on the road full-time. Life app: be adaptable.
I used to have my whole family on a strict diet for intestinal health, since one of my daughters has Crohn’s Disease. My plan was to eat whatever I wanted when I hit 90. Then my grandmother said, “I love eating, which is such a blessing at 86. My mother lost interest in food, but I still enjoy it.” Life app: why wait? Be happy now. (Of course, we still have to manage the dietary issues, so don’t think “happy” means whatever we want it to mean.)
I like cherry soup. People tell me I’m weird. Life app: if you make something that you love and that everyone else thinks is weird (like my famous fried peanut butter and jelly eggs), that only means there’s more for you, so embrace your weirdness.
I don’t drink coffee, because caffeine makes me talk really, really fast and think even faster, but in an oddly unproductive manner. It’s scary. Life app: don’t caffeinate me.
When I was a kid I totally wanted a Whatchamacallit candy bar. One day someone gave me one. I was so excited that I saved it for months waiting for just the right moment to eat it. My dog’s right moment occurred before mine, and he ate it. I’ve never tasted a Whatchamacallit. Life app: enjoy the Whatchamacallits of life today and stop saving them for just the right moment.
I always wanted an electric racetrack like my brothers had. One Christmas my husband got me one, but I was so tired from staying up too late wrapping Christmas presents that I fell asleep on the couch after the gift opening. My husband set up the track, played with it, left it there, and someone stepped on it and broke it. I kept it for several years, thinking I would repair it (stop laughing, brothers and husband), until a wiser me tossed it. Two life apps here: read my book about not driving yourself into a sleep-deprived stupor at Christmas (or any time), and don’t hold onto grudges and broken race tracks. Also, don’t play with other people’s Christmas presents.
I wake up in the middle of the night panicking about my parenting. That only serves to rob me of my sleep and make me a tired, panicked, less useful mother. Life app: do the best you can, turn it over to God, and get a good night’s sleep. Your children will someday be imperfect parents themselves, and either they will understand you better, or they will think they’re far superior to you as parents, in which case you can quietly laugh at them, knowing how little they really know.
Someone in college made me very self-conscious about my crooked teeth, which made me stop smiling, which made me less attractive. Life app taken straight from the 1982 film Little Orphan Annie: “You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” Just smile. Who cares about the crooked teeth!
My then six-year-old son sold his cowboy hat at a garage sale for $2 because “It doesn’t fit, Mama, so I don’t want it anymore. It’s just gonna sit around and take up space.” I used to waste time wishing I had his hat back and replaying the garage sale in my mind. Also, I’m a recovering pack rat. Life app: listen to the wise boy who is doing what you taught him to do–get rid of clutter. Also, get the boy a hat that fits for his birthday.
I used to ride my horse standing up when nobody was looking. Life app: don’t be stupid when nobody’s looking. Always have someone around when you’re being stupid, so they can 1) run and get help when you fall off, 2) tell you how stupid you are…in case you didn’t already know, and 3) take pictures.
When my seventh baby was colicky, I gave up milk, eggs, wheat, and a whole host of other foods. The pediatrician said I should just put her on formula, because nobody would stick to that diet. I stuck to it for almost two years, and I’m currently on a total elimination diet for my eighth child. I tried to do this for myself in the past, but I never could. Doing it for them, however, I am driven. Life app: Find your motivation; it helps if your motivation is cute and smells milky sweet.
When I was in kindergarten, I stood up while the schoolbus was in motion, lost my balance, fell down the front stairs and hit the door. The driver said, “That wouldn’t have happened if you had stayed seated while the bus was moving,” and I said, “That wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t driving too fast.” Life apps–there are three of them: 1) be accountable for your own actions, 2) don’t stand up while the bus is moving, and 3) perhaps most importantly for the preservation of life, don’t be smarmy to a beefy man named Wild Bill who has to put up with 60 disrespectful kids every day–yeah, that’s a good one.
Some people start off really cute, then hit a geeky phase, and finally emerge from it graceful and well-composed. I seem to be stuck in the geeky time warp. Life app: embrace your inner geek…and your glasses and your frizzy hair and your high waters…or get contacts and hair cream and longer pants, but that’s kinda boring and expensive.
I have a severe doctor/dentist phobia. Life app: if you know somebody with a doctor/dentist phobia, go with them. If it’s a spouse, schedule the appointments for them.
I pick my battles. For example, sometimes during my my husband’s concerts, our daughter sings in bare feet and a tiara, because it makes her happy and that’s not the hill I want to die on. Life apps: pick your battles and swap the shoes for a tiara if it makes you smile.
I battle negativity. I have several people in my life who also tend toward the negative, while I have found others who are positive, loving, and encouraging. The difference in how my family feels when we spend time with the negative, critical people versus the loving, encouraging people is unfathomable! Life app: be encouraging…but not an empty flatterer.
When we go someplace where there are huge crowds, we all wear matching hats so we can easily keep track of each other. Life app: if you go someplace where there are huge crowds, wear matching hats so you can easily keep track of each other.
I don’t like labels. Even though I would technically be considered a baby-wearing, eclectic homeschooling, attachment parenting, extended nursing, semi-real foodie, full-time RVing conservative evangelical Christian missionary blogger and freelance writer, if I saw that label on someone, I would freak out and run away. Freak out! I’m just a person who does that stuff to a manageable degree because it works for my life. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to eat a hot dog with you or that I wouldn’t hang out with you because you use a stroller and I have children hanging off all my limbs. Life app: don’t label people or yourself. It’s scary.
I don’t use God-speak. I’m a Christian through-and-through, but when I hear God-speak, it scares me away. I can’t imagine what a non-Christian would feel like if I God-speaked ’em. Life app: be yourself. You’re far more likely to win people for Christ if they can see that we Christians are real people, too…and that we speak English.
Sometimes I say lame or embarrassing things, and then I lie awake at night replaying the whole affair in my mind. Life app: don’t say lame or embarrassing things. Realistic life app: don’t sweat it. Everyone is lame and embarrassing sometimes. That’s merely a symptom of the incurable condition called “life,” and when you consider the alternative, which is not-life, life’s not all that bad.
I have trouble following through on projects. For example, right about now I’m considering pretending I’m only 37, just so I don’t have to think of six more things to say about myself. Life app: don’t bite off more than you can chew. Learn your limitations and heed them.
When I was a teen, it was like social death for your underwear band or your bra strap to show. Sometimes I start to approach young ladies to let them know that they forgot their shirt, just in case they didn’t know, or to offer to buy young men a belt to avoid that embarrassing pants-below-the-butt look in the future, but my children tell me I will be shot. Life app: sometimes our children know more than we do, so don’t be too proud to learn from them.
Almost every time I pre-judge people, I eat crow. Life app: don’t pre-judge people…or else develop a liking for crow.
I sometimes think my husband should have married someone who could sing better than I can, so he’d have a built-in background vocalist and duetist…rather than someone who makes up words like duetist, but get this–he’s happy with me despite my vocal nuances. Life app: don’t stress over what you’re not. Be what you are and be the best ~~word-maker-upper~~ you that you can be…unless you’re an idiot, in which case, you should read Proverbs.
People at our concerts call me amazing because of our lifestyle. I’m not amazing. I’m an ordinary person serving an extraordinary God in out-of-the-ordinary ways, but that is all. Without Him, I’m nothing. Life app: be something–serve God.
I’ve lost friends for sticking up for unborn children. Life app: do the right thing no matter what.
I like chocolate, but it gives me…ahem…gas. So…sniff sniff…I don’t eat it. Life app: make sacrifices for the comfort of your family…but keep a chocolate stash in your undie drawer for when you’re home alone. (Those were tear sniffs, not whiff sniffs.)

There you go–43 useless facts about me, and 43 potentially useless life apps for you. It’s not as good as pie, but it’ll do.

Connecting Children to Their Heritage…With Pie

It’s my grandfather’s birthday. He would have been 91 today if he weren’t already in the arms of Jesus. So today we had two lemon meringue pies for breakfast.

I can see you’re not following me. Let me jump back a few decades.

Grandpa’s birthday is January 29; mine is February 1. I grew up on Grandpa’s farm. He was the father I always wanted, and of all the people on God’s green earth, he is one of those I love best. Every year at the weekend that fell closest to January 29 and February 1, my mom would bake a two-layer poppy seed cake with custard in the middle and seven-minute frosting for me, and a lemon meringue pie for Grandpa. Grandpa’s sister and her husband (my godparents) would come either to his house or ours, and we would all eat Mom’s classic meal of delicious lasagna, amazing potato rolls, and Grandpa’s favorite fruit salad. We’d sing and open presents and have pie and cake with the frosting scraped off (of mine) and wash it all down with tall glasses of cold Wisconsin milk.

That was one of my (many) favorite times, sitting with my grandpa, smiling for Grandma’s polaroid, eating Mom’s lasagna, and watching Grandpa enjoy his pie.

Every year I share those memories with my children. They know it by heart, but they (at least act like they) love to hear it again.

And every year we try to have lemon meringue pie on January 29 and share stories about everyone’s memories of Grandpa, or Big Bubba as my children called him…although he was a slim 6’0″ and not really the Bubba type. That unusual nickname, too, is a story we share.

This annual pie baking connects my children to their heritage. Who cares? I do, and you should. Here’s why:

It’s pie.
It’s Grandpa. I love him. He is vitally important to who I am as a person. Doesn’t it make sense that I should share that with my children, if only to help them understand me a bit better?
It’s Great Grandpa–they knew him and want to remember him and share their joy and sadness and their own special, personal memories of him and their unique bonds.
Connecting to the generations that have gone before helps children see that life did not begin when they did. They are not the axis of the world and the center of the universe. There is much that went before them and much that will come after them.
Regardless of how small you are in the big picture, each person is a special, unique, valuable human being. Look how valuable Grandpa is to us, how seemingly insignificant things–like a timely scolding, a wink and a poke in the stomach, a “come on, Kid; let’s go,” or a side of peanuts and saltines with my ice cream–mattered to the generations that followed.
It gives them an anchor and a sense of belonging to something big–family, and lots of it depending how far back you can take your pie heritage.
It’s a history lesson. When was Grandpa born? When were his parents born? What was their life like?
It puts Justin Bieber and thigh gaps into perspective. Who cares about a teen idol when you talk about my great grandma delivering her firstborn in a log farmhouse at the start of the Great Depression, and about grandpa coming of age on a farm during World War II and raising teens during the 1960s. Life was different once and it will be different in the future, and Bieber’s hair will not even make the who-cares radar.
It shows how faith carries a man through all aspects of life…from birth on earth to “birth” into the next life in heaven.
It’s a time to remember and to mourn together and to rejoice together.
Did I mention the pie?

Not all my relatives are remembered with pie. Aunt Betty gets mini cheesecakes, my grandma gets her mom’s molasses cake, and my other grandpa gets chicken booyah, because he was the state booyah king. But still, the date goes on the official family calendar for what it is: Big Bubba’s Lemon Meringue Pie Day. It is anticipated and enjoyed, and the memories and lessons of an amazing life are cemented a little further.

Plus, who doesn’t want an excuse for homemade pie?

If you want to launch Family Pie Heritage celebrations, it’s simple. Put the dates on the calendar and make it happen. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Just add dessert to dinner or switch up the menu that night, or watch that person’s favorite movie that week–and share memories. Simple, but memorable.

I miss you Grandpa. We all do.

How to Fry an Egg

This post contains affiliate links and an egg-frying technique. Beware.

Embarrassing Confession: Until last month I couldn’t fry a decent egg to save my family. Life wasn’t always so grim. I used to fry eggs just fine. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but that didn’t seem to matter. I had a pretty good egg-frying track record. I temporarily thought I was endowed with a little extra magic in the kitchen or maybe a bit of beginner’s luck. Then somehow, I lost my egg-frying abilities. It was a sad ~~day~~ fifteen years. I now know it wasn’t beginner’s luck or talent that landed the rare identifiable egg on my hubby’s plate–it was just God offering my hungry husband a little mercy.

Now, however, I can fry an egg like a pro because I learned from the pros. You may think this is no big deal and a ridiculous post, but I can guarantee you there is a Frustrated Someone out there searching “How to fry a stinkin’ egg already!” I get you, Frustrated Someone. I totally get you.

I learned how to fry a stinkin’ egg (and do other amazing-to-me things in the kitchen) from the book my hungry husband gave me for Christmas, entitled The America’s Test Kitchen Cooking School Cookbook: Everything You Need to Know to Become a Great Cook. It’s a big title and an even bigger book.

In case you think my husband’s a big fat meanie, I requested the book after one too many broken eggs and dry roasts.

Anyway, this really isn’t about the book. It’s about how to fry a stinkin’ egg already! (This is a bad picture of my stinkin’ eggs, but when you live in a trailer and shoot with a cell phone, it’s how egg pictures look. Trust me that the rest of my eggs looked much better than the eggs in this picture, but we were so excited that I was making consistently (instead of randomly and rarely) awesome eggs that we ate the stinkin’ things with no pictures.)

How to Fry a Stinkin’ Egg

(According to America’s Test Kitchen, with some additions from l’il ol’ me)

What You Need:

non-stick pan–8 or 9 inches for 2 eggs, 10 inches for 4 (I just use what I have)
butter–about 1.5 teaspoons per 2-4 eggs (3 teaspoons is a tablespoon–memorize it)
stinkin’ eggs–2 per person is reasonable, eh?
spatula (turner)
timer

What You Do:

Heat the pan over medium-high heat for five minutes. Set your timer.
Meanwhile, crack the eggs on a flat surface, not on the edge of the bowl or pan. Why not? Because minuscule egg shell fragments may be forced into the egg, and you won’t see them and then you’re swallowing little shell shards and making your intestines cry. Nobody wants weepy intestines.
Put the eggs in a cute little bowl, two eggs to a bowl. If you’re making four eggs, use two bowls. That way the eggs all go in at the same time and get done at the same time. Eggs like everything to be fair.
After the pan has been heating for five minutes, toss the butter into the pan. When I say toss, you know I mean place gently, right?
Tip the pan to melt the butter and coat the pan. The butter should melt in under a minute. If it takes longer than a minute, your pan is not hot enough–heat it longer. If your butter burns during that minute, your pan is too hot–start over, and, uh, it’s okay to cry a little, too. I mean, it’s butter!
Gently tip the cute little egg-bearing bowls and gently deposit the eggs into the properly heated pan. Don’t plop them in from the heavens. Get down in there.
Hurry scurry like a little bunny and salt and pepper those babies, unless your preschooler is eating them and doesn’t like pepper. Test Kitchen Guru says 4 parts salt to one part pepper. I just shake-a shake-a, but remember, my husband is a hungry man.
Quickly cover the pan to maintain the temperature. If your pan doesn’t have a cover, do what my brother does and plop a cookie sheet on top. If your cover has a little steam vent, don’t do what younger and dumber me did and plug the vent with your finger. Moving on.
Cook for 2 minutes, and then do a quick peek to check the eggs to see if they are to your liking. “Done” means the membrane over the yolk is white. If you like the yolk hard, cook it longer. I’m more of a 3.25-minute egg girl myself. I also like peanut butter on my eggs, so you shouldn’t go by my likes.
At this point you have some options. My mom adds a splash of water to the pan to steam the eggs and cook the tops better. I flip some of my eggs when they’re nearly done and firmly set, because the people I feed like the yolks better that way. Test Kitchen Guru leaves them alone. You, Frustrated Someone, can choose.

That’s it. It’s really simple. Still, I’m going to talk on. These next points are embarrassingly obvious, but if you’re reading this to learn how to fry an egg, Frustrated Someone, you and I need people to point out the obvious. There’s no shame in that. No shame.

Please don’t overcook your eggs. You can always cook them a little longer, but you can’t uncook them, unless you call giving them to your dog and starting over uncooking.
Toast your bread while you’re waiting.
Have softened butter available to spread on your hot toast. Well-buttered toast helps ease the pain in case your egg fry fails. I like to pop my toast in the pan after I pull the eggs out.
Use a really good skillet. While I’m all about taking accountability for your actions, you really can blame this failure on the tools.
Don’t get distracted by a four-year-old and the word “eggs” and go off and read Green Eggs and Ham and forget that you’re frying eggs. That’s what timers are for! Also, seriously, never leave the stove unattended and scamper off on an outdoor adventure and have to call the house from the back 40 to ask someone to take your stinkin’ eggs off the stinkin’ burner and feed them to the ~~stinkin’~~ dog who will be very sad you’re finally learning how to cook in a way that people will eat it.

In summary:

Preheat pan for five minutes.
Add butter.
Gently add eggs.
Season.
Cover.
Cook.
Check.
Serve.

Go for it, Frustrated Someone! Go fry an egg!

Now, I know you must have a cooking challenge of your own. If you share it in the comments, I would be happy to look it up in my cool fun new Cooking School book and write about it. So happy!

Guest Post: Make 2016 Your Healthiest Year Yet

Today’s guest writer is Leanne. I first met Leanne at a church in Florida where she was vacationing with her family. We then re-met in Wisconsin at her home church. To understand why she is posting here, you have to know that Leanne is fit and gorgeous. When she casually mentioned that she was 40, I said, “Give me your business card!” She did better than that. She shared her story for all of you.

Here is Leanne’s story:

Make 2016 Your Healthiest Year Yet!

Happy 2016 to all of you! At the start of a new year most people have New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve never been a person to have resolutions…I like to think of them more as intentions and goals. As a health and wellness coach, it warms my heart when I hear people say they want to eat healthier, exercise more, lose weight, quit smoking, etc.

My resolution (intention/goal) for 2016 is to help all of you make 2016 your healthiest year yet! Let me share a little bit about what I did to change my health just over two years ago.

For the past 14 years our family has tried to eat more organic/natural foods. By all means we are not perfect, but we certainly try our best. I still enjoy a night out for pizza, birthday cake to celebrate another year, and a dish of ice cream just because. For the first 12 of these 14 years I would typically put on around 10 or so pounds each summer, indulging in the “not so healthy choices” while watching my boys play ball. When school would start in the fall, I went into weight loss mode to lose those unwanted pounds before our Spring Break vacation in March. It would take me about 6 months of literally starving myself (even with healthy food choices) to lose that weight.

Fast forward to September 1, 2013…the day my health changed forever! My dear friend Kim introduced me to some amazing nutrition products that have changed my health in so many ways, and this was the day I started! Because our family stays away from foods with artificial sweeteners, soy protein, stimulants, MSG, just to name a few, I do my research on what I allow into our home. I did my homework on these products, and knew I needed to jump in with both feet!

Besides wanting to lose about 10 pounds, I also had a lot of digestion issues going on. I was beginning to think I had a gluten or dairy allergy. I also felt tired all the time and really didn’t have a lot of energy. Several times a week I would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to fall back asleep for a couple hours. I was not the happy, healthy, energetic wife and mom that I needed to be for my family. Exercise–I wasn’t doing much of that either because I didn’t have the energy to do it! I was looking for a convenient and cost effective way to feel better.

Nutritional Cleansing is what has allowed me to release 16 pounds of fat in those first months without exercising, gain more energy than I could have ever imagined, sleep like a rock EVERY night, get rid of the digestion issues I once had (no gluten or dairy allergies for me), and feel so much healthier at 38 than I did back in my 20’s. Over the past two years I started exercising and have put on about 8 pounds of lean muscle. I’ll be 41 in a couple weeks, and I am in better shape now than when I was 20!

You might be wondering what nutritional cleansing is….and NO it isn’t a colon cleanse! Nutritional cleansing is a cellular cleanse (whole body) by putting the perfect nutrition into our bodies. Unfortunately, most of the foods we eat (even organic) are nutrient deficient. Our bodies need 90 nutrients (building blocks) on a daily basis, with 60 of them being minerals. Most people are deficient in many of these nutrients…mostly minerals. One of the reasons we are deficient in minerals is because of the introduction of pesticides in our soils. The pesticides not only kill the bad bugs on the plants, but also the ecosystem in the soils that the plants are grown in. If the ecosystem is killed off in the soil, then the minerals are no longer in the soils for the plants to uptake. If the plants are not able to uptake the minerals, then we aren’t getting the minerals when we eat the plants.

Back in 1997 UCLA did a study on women who reported being anemic, yet ate a salad each day primarily from spinach. We all know that spinach is high in iron, and therefore these women should not have been anemic. UCLA compared a sample of spinach they had from 1953 to a sample from 1997. The findings were astounding! A whopping 43 bowls of spinach in 1997 = 1 bowl of spinach in 1953. That 43:1 ratio is the same for ALL the other 59 minerals we need on a daily basis. And…when you don’t have your minerals, even your vitamins can’t be used by the body! All this information made me realize that I wasn’t getting all the nutrients I needed on a daily basis.

The other part to this perfect nutrition is that it helps rid the body of the junk that builds up in our cells. Our bodies are exposed to so many toxins on a daily basis…from the air we breathe, personal care products we use, and so much more. These toxins build up in our cells and basically junk up our body. Our bodies actually put on fat to protect us from the toxins we are exposed to. When we get rid of the impurities in our cells, our body no longer has a need for the fat.

Other “side effects” of nutritional cleansing (getting rid of the junk) besides weight loss are:

Lose Nasty Cravings
Improved Sleep
Increased Lean Muscle
Healthy Aging
Improved Digestion
Better Athletic Performance
And so much more!

By incorporating nutritional cleansing into my lifestyle, my body is now getting all 90 nutrients it needs on a daily basis. This also goes for the rest of the family because these products are great for them also! Our family also has saved so much money on our overall grocery bill!

Was I skeptical in the beginning? Absolutely I was skeptical, but these products come with a 30-day money back guarantee. I had nothing to lose but those unwanted pounds and my intense carbohydrate cravings! Of course I didn’t need to use that money back offer, because I truly felt amazing after my first 30 days and will never be without these products in my home!

If you are ready to feel the best you have ever felt, now is the perfect time to get started. The company is offering free shipping up to $25 for new customers (on qualifying orders) through January 17, and it would be my honor to coach you to better health! I’m here to help you succeed and reach your health goals with recipes, a private Facebook support group, accountability, and much more! Take a peek at this 6 minute Video called “Are You Toxic?” Find me on Facebook at Leanne Selle; private message me, and I can add you to our private Facebook group for you to do some more homework for yourself! We have 2 different 30-day health challenges starting this month. The first one started January 4 and the second one starts January 18. Join me for both of them! Let’s make 2016 our healthiest year together!

God’s blessings on your 2016!

Leanne Selle
Health & Wellness Coach
(920)470-4814
leaneselle@gmail.com

Let’s Set Some Mostly Measurable, Manageable Goals for January

This post contains affiliate links and goals. Thought you ought to know.

I don’t like New Year’s resolutions, because, for example, let’s say you resolve to fit into that size smaller jeans and find out two weeks later that you’re pregnant–celebratory fail! Let’s say it’s super important to you to quit watching television, but then your grandfather invites you to spend every Saturday, Sunday, Monday and sometimes Thursday of football season watching games with him. Are you really going to say no? And why are there so many game days anyway? You just don’t know what the day is going to bring, much less the year.

I’ve tried resolutions. I’ve tried no resolutions. At the end of the year, there’s no difference. This year, I’m trying a new tactic. I’m setting mostly measurable, manageable monthly goals. Care to join me?

Here are the ridiculously obvious rules for my mostly measurable, manageable monthly goals:

They should be mostly measurable, so “smile more” really doesn’t follow this rule…although I’m putting it on there anyway. Walk three times a week is measurable. See? Make more pie–not measurable; make a pie–totally measurable…and edible…hopefully.
It’s manageable. No stressing…which would be a goal in and of itself if it were more measurable.
It’s a monthly goal.

Don’t freak out when you see the length of this list. Most of the items are small things that I need to be more consistent about. Others are general areas of my life that need a little refocusing now that we’re heading back out on the road. Some are bigger tasks. None are radical. They are all written down or else, bam, I forget.

Here are my mostly measurable manageable monthly goals for January: