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Is The Simple Homemaker a Christian Blog?

I am a Christian.

Wait! Don’t run away screaming and unsubscribe! Hear me out.

I know sometimes Christians get a bad rap…and sometimes we deserve it.

I know everyone has met Christians who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Sometimes that’s me. I’m not perfect.

I know everyone has met Christians who get down on others, get a little judgmental, make you think they have it all together. Sometimes that’s me. I’ve got a bad case of “human.”

I know everyone has met Christians who are a mess, grumping at their kids, disrespecting their husbands, getting speeding tickets, mismanaging money, forgetting to put on shoes before heading to the grocery store, and getting weighed down by life. Sometimes that’s me. I can be a mess.

Sometimes that’s me–the imperfect, overly human, messy Christian.

Not only am I a Christian, but I am married to a Christian.

My husband is contemporary Christian musician, Stephen Bautista. He will be the first (second if I get to it first) to tell you that he, too, is imperfect. He will also tell you that it is because he is not good enough that he is a Christian. If you’re already perfect and can get to heaven on your own laurels, what do you need with a savior?

That said…

If you bounce around my blog, you won’t find pages of intimidating God-speak. I only use Bible verses where they are relevant. When I want to share with you the benefits of cleaning with vinegar, I’m going to talk about vinegar, not preach a sermon. When I want to share with you a simple recipe, you’re going to get the recipe. When someone asks me how to homeschool a preschooler, I’m going to talk about homeschooling preschoolers. When we discuss decluttering, we’ll talk about decluttering.

But…

If you bounce around my blog, you will also see that I don’t hide my faith or promote anything that opposes my beliefs. I can never, nor will I ever try to separate my faith in Christ from the rest of my life. It is part of who I am (remember me—the imperfect, overly human, messy Christian). It is what gets me through trials, sorrows, messes, fear, disappointments. It is my constant motivation, my sustenance, my being.

And…

Faith in Christ is what truly simplifies my life. Regardless of what happens in this life—and the Bible assures us it ain’t gonna be pretty, although the Bible says it more eloquently—I can look forward to heaven. No matter what crossroads I encounter, I have Biblical guidance. Despite the trials of life, I know not to worry, not to fear, and not to despair. I am never alone, never forgotten, and never without hope and a reason for joy. That is the ultimate in simple living.

I never want you to feel unwelcome here, nor do I want you to feel I am forcing my faith down your throat with every recipe and simplifying tip. If, however, you want to know more about my faith, please contact me. I am always happy to share my treasure.

Reflections on Life, Time, Family and The Death of Steve Jobs

The death of Steve Jobs has touched many people—few connected Americans are not touched in some way by the passing of this legendary technological genius. Despite the effect he has had on many lives, I can’t help but think that the people who will miss him most are his surviving family members—his four children, his wife, his biological parents, and his two sisters. It is these people who will live with fond memories, yes, but also regrets, pain, what-ifs, and if-onlies.

When we hear of someone dying, whether someone famous such as Steve Jobs, or someone less well-known, but often far more personal, we begin to think a little more deeply than many of us may be comfortable thinking. We contemplate the rapidity of life and the inevitability of death. We rest assured in our faith or, for many, re-evaluate the wisdom of rejecting God. On a more immediate basis, we evaluate our own lives and relationships a bit more.

We assess how we spend our time. We look at the hours wasted online, watching television, complaining, or working overtime. We contemplate whether hobbies and careers have attained a higher status than the people in our lives. We recall with regret the number of “laters” and “not nows” that have escaped from our mouths. We look shamefully on the number of hours we spent dealing with clutter, full calendars, and self-imposed expectations that distract us from the people we are blessed to have in our lives.

With such regret and reawakening driving us, we often tend to refocus our lives, promising ourselves we will spend more time with our loved ones. We commit to making time for what really matters, for saying “yes” instead of “later,” and for saying “no” to anything that will keep us from our families. This lasts only briefly before life crowds in on us again and we are once more taking each other for granted and confusing our priorities. If excessive stuff, activities, and expectations are not permanently eliminated, there will be no space for those who really matter…but there will always be room for regret.

Nobody is immune to death. Similarly, nobody is immune to the regret that often comes with knowing you could have given more time, been more committed, or been more attentive to your loved one.

One of the most important reasons for simplifying your life is to make more time for the people with whom you have been blessed. Make an effort today and every day to remove the unnecessary elements from your life—perfectionism, clutter, obligations, expectations.

Focus on faith and family. There will come a time when nothing else matters.

For a powerful and moving perspective on Steve Jobs’ death, please read “The Death of Steve Jobs: The Real Story.” It is the single best article I have read on the subject.

Simple Birthday Party Ideas

It’s birthday season at The Simple Home. We have three birthdays lumped together at the beginning of autumn, another in November, and two more closing out the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons, one of those landing on New Year’s Day.

It is possible to go absolutely nuts during birthday season. I have seen what some non-celebrity parents do for their children’s birthdays. I won’t give you my personal opinion, but my children think those families are nuts.

Every birthday we have is simple, affordable, and stress-free.

Here are some simple birthday party ideas to keep the festivities down to a dull roar while still making the birthday girl or birthday boy (or birthday mom!) feel special.

Simple Birthday Party Ideas

Size of the Guest List

Keep it small! If you have an overly stimulated two-year-old surrounded by 25 other overly stimulated two-year-olds, you’re asking for it…and chances are you’re gonna get it. You’ve been warned.

There is nothing wrong with a party for the immediate family only. If you want to include Grandma and Grandpa and a few cousins, that’s great, but remember that with each person you include, you are adding stress and cost, plus obligating that person to spend money on a gift.

If you have a lot of children, consider throwing one annual birthday bash to which you invite the entire extended family and some friends. When the real birthdays roll around, stick to just the household and maybe grandparents.

As your guest list grows, so do the number of presents your child will be tossing carelessly on the floor for you to trip over…I mean, the more gifts your child will be receiving. To avoid adding more clutter to your life and obligatory expense to the guests’ lives, include a note in the invitation that says “Your presence is our present; there is no need to bring gifts.” This also helps to not spoil your child, while still making him feel special.

Fun and Affordable Birthday Decorations

Balloons are cheap. I’m not talking the fancy inflatable shiny character balloons; I mean a bag or two of balloons from a discount store (like Wal-Mart). Personally, I don’t like balloons, probably because I almost always have someone at the “if there is a way to fit this in my mouth, I will find it” stage. Therefore, we keep the balloons off the floor by tying them to a string and running the string of balloons across the ceiling a couple times. It’s even more fun when the children decorate the balloons first to fit their themes.

Crepe paper is also cheap at discount stores. Decorate the birthday girl’s chair before she wakes up, or write her name on the wall in crepe paper.

A white plastic tablecloth sells for a buck or two in the party supply section of—you guessed it—discount stores. Children can decorate it using permanent markers—for creative children, this is often more fun than the gift opening.

Plain white paper for wrapping gifts can also be decorated. Other great sources of wrapping paper are Sunday funnies, brown paper bags, or rolls of newsprint paper or butcher paper. All can be decorated, although the funnies are fun as-is. Bows can be tied with yarn, or you can stock up on wrapping ribbon around December 26. Sewing departments usually sell thin ribbon very cheaply, and it doubles beautifully as hair ribbons for little girls.

Make a birthday banner consisting of all the letters in the child’s name, the letters in “Happy Birthday”,” or pictures from birthdays past. You could also have siblings or the birthday girl herself make signs to decorate the house. It will not look like Hallmark, but it will be charming and very, very special.

Decorate a birthday tree. Laminate pictures from birthdays past and hang them on a small tree or houseplant. Presents for the special someone can be placed under the tree.

Have all guests decorate their own birthday hats. Optionally, you could have your own children decorate hats and party favor bags in advance of party day.

Easy Party Games

The decorating is often so much fun that the children do not need any other games. If they do, however, remember that sometimes the simple, classic games are the best.

For the little ones, duck, duck, goose, bean bag toss, ping pong ball bounce, follow that leader, and other simple games fit the bill. So does bringing out a bucket of Lincoln logs. Whatever you do, don’t stress a roomful of 20 toddlers!

Older children might enjoy a scavenger hunt, treasure hunt, or charades. Pinatas are also fun, but most sold in the store today are the (booooring, totally low-action, why-not-just-hand-out-a-bunch-of-candy) pull-string type. Those are fine for the littles, but the older children, especially boys, really want to hit something. So…make your own!

Have your birthday child decorate some poster board for a “pin the tail on the donkey” type of game, but change it up for the theme or your child’s interests. Pin the petal on the flower, pin the light saber on Luke Skywalker, pin the facial features on the birthday boy (a drawing of the birthday boy, that is)—you get the idea. I know it’s very last decade in most parents’ minds, but it’s simple, affordable, and fun for the children.

Put an address label on each person’s head. Each label has the name of a kind of animal. By asking questions of others, each person has to guess what he is throughout the party. Once you know what you are, remove the sticker. This is also a great mingling activity if your party gets a little large.

Birthday Party Food

Make the birthday boy his favorite meals. If he requests steak and lobster, you may need to lower his expectations a bit and give him hamburgers and shrimp. Otherwise, fill the day with his favorite foods. Do as much as possible ahead of time.

If you have invited a crowd, think of foods that really stretch. Hamburgers and hotdogs are low-key and go well with a big, inexpensive batch of filling baked beans. Grill the meats up ahead of time and put them in roaster pans that can easily be reheated in the oven. The beans can go in the crockpot.

Pizza is obviously the simplest choice for a large group, and a general crowd pleaser. Supplement with a large lettuce salad and a fruit salad, or anything else that guests on restricted diets may require.

Cake and ice cream are always a hit. Save a lot of money by making your own cake. You can really stretch out the cake experience by having guests decorate their own cupcakes.

Consider a popcorn bar instead of sweets to keep costs and sugar down.

For a small group, have the ice cream be part of the action by making it right there, either in plastic bags inside other plastic bags filled with salt and ice, in an ice cream maker, or—the ultimate—in an ice cream ball.

If you are making it a “friends” party and want to keep the cost down, hold the festivities from around 2 to 4 p.m. and serve only cake and ice cream.

Please remember that a birthday party does not have to be stressful; nor does it have to be perfect.

If a child wants to help (or independently) decorate the cake or the house, let him! The smile on his face is far more important than the impression your neighbors or relatives would formulate from seeing the near-perfect cake and home décor you would otherwise have put out.

It is not about perfection—it is about the special person you are celebrating.

9/11 Remembrance in Action

The cement of this union is

the heart-blood of every American.

~Thomas Jefferson

September 11, 2011 is the tenth anniversary of the most devastating attack to occur on modern American soil. Many innocent people lost their lives, and heroes rose from the ashes.

While Americans commemorate 9/11 as it approaches each year, many groups have organized service and volunteer opportunities in honor of the 9/11 tenth anniversary. They are moving beyond waving a flag or posting a “Remember 9/11” status update. Instead, they are making a real difference.

If you wish to join in a 9/11 service opportunity, the following sites can show you what is happening in your neighborhood.

The September 11th National Day of Service and Remembrance at the Corporation for National and Community Service encourages all Americans to remember the sacrifices of September 11, 2001, by serving in a “spirit of compassion, unity, and service.” Links to local service opportunities are available.

Action America “stands to unite and activate Americans everywhere to turn the events of 9/11 into positive action.” Action toolkits are available to assist you with your service project.

At 9/11day.org, you are encouraged to “describe what you will do this year, a good deed, charitable activity, or other plans, to honor the 9/11 victims, survivors, and those that rose in service in response to the attacks.”

Scholastic offers 9/11 lesson plans, classroom activities, and volunteer opportunities for children to get them involved in uniting America through service.

Consider joining the 9/11 tenth anniversary commemoration by performing a simple act of service in your own neighborhood.

Take lunch to your local fire station, help mow a neighbor’s lawn, volunteer at a local agency, or pick up trash along the road. Simple actions can combine to make an enormous difference and unite a community.

Then join hand in hand, brave Americans all!
By uniting we stand, by dividing we fall.

~John Dickinson

When Life Isn’t Simple

There are times in life when simplifying means eliminating. We recently had such an experience, and, sadly, The Simple Homemaker (the site, not the person) was temporarily eliminated from my life.

Those of you who are my Facebook buddies may already know that our oldest daughter was recently and suddenly hospitalized twice and diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. The diagnosis took over a year, but the crisis situation she reached almost over night brought it all to a head.

Learning about and caring for a Crohn’s patient has not been simple. Combine that with natural parental worries about a child’s future, her longterm health, and her current pain and treatment, and something had to give.

One huge aspect of living a simple life is knowing your limitations and priorities.

During the past few months, my limitations did not extend past my main priority–my immediate family. Even our schooling took a back seat to the real life lessons of caring for a sick family member, learning new cooking techniques, practicing compassion and service, and using discernment to translate the conflicting information from doctors, dieticians, and a myriad of “experts.”

There was no “me” left to spread. This is where life’s hardest lessons come in, at least for someone as independent as I tend to be.

Friends, never be afraid to say, “I can’t.”

Never be ashamed to ask for help. There is no nobility in climbing a mountain alone when your friends, family, or church have ropes and a climbing team in place…or, better yet, a ski lift. Life is less overwhelming when you say, “Help me,” and take the hand extended to you.

That said, The Simple Homemaker is back. Thank you for your patience and your prayers. My life is less simple, but my philosophy about focusing on the important aspects of life and not cluttering the queue is stronger than ever!

Related article:

You may also enjoy hearing from Joy at Grace Full Mama about asking for help.

Photo courtesy of Bernhard Kohl. Thanks, Ernie!

Why Simplify?

When I talk about simplifying, I often hear a cacophony of agreement from people wanting to clear out their garages or offices, get rid of a few children’s toys, or sort through their wardrobes to find those 80s skinny pants that frighteningly seem to be back in style and might still fit. (Listen. Those pants were a bad idea the first time around. Two wrongs won’t make a right.)

True, simplifying involves getting rid of too much stuff. The stuff we need to banish, however, is not just the mass of junk taking over our garages, closets, and desks. It’s also the stuff taking over our bodies, our minds, and our family time.

What does simplifying mean?

Simplifying means getting rid of physical clutter, resulting in a tidy home that is easy to care for and therefore more time for your family.

Simplifying means getting rid of the need to have stuff, resulting in less spending and therefore less debt.

Simplifying means getting rid of the numerous obligations that call you away from your home, your family, and your main priorities, resulting in less stress and exhaustion and more family time.

Simplifying means getting rid of misconceptions about health and cooking and learning simple ways to feed your family delicious, healthy foods, resulting in healthier bodies.

Simplifying means getting rid of expectations and the need for perfection, freeing you to enjoy life as it is, your home, spouse, and children.

Simplifying means getting rid of the worries that control your mind, resulting in a calmer, healthier, more stress-free life and a happier person.

Simplifying means getting rid of the chaos that may be your life right now, and enjoying a simple schedule with simple, realistic goals, freeing you up to be efficient, productive, and at peace.

Simplifying means getting rid of a lot of different kinds of clutter that is only robbing you of joy, peace, and memories with your family.

You may think removing things from your life is hard, but with each loss comes a gain.

Lose junk. Gain family time.

Lose a spendthrift mentality. Gain control of your finances

Lose outside obligations. Gain a calmer life.

Lose cooking misconceptions and perfectionism. Gain simple, useful skills to feed your family.

Lose expectations. Gain joy and contentment.

Lose worries. Gain peace.

Lose chaos. Gain efficiency.

Personally, I think the gains look a lot better than the losses.

We are embarking on an adventure to declutter our lives, simplify our kitchens, find joy within our homes, form realistic and flexible schedules, organize areas of our homes, toss the 80s skinny pants, and release the burdens we all too often place on ourselves when we clutter up our lives with stuff, debt, misconceptions, and obligations.

It’s time for some nitty-gritty simplifying. Stay tuned!

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Nix the Negativity

It used to be my natural tendency to look for what was wrong with every situation. I was a real hoot. I still battle this negative outlook at times.

Negativity adds complexity to life where it doesn’t need to be. Negativity steals joy and diverts gratitude. It contaminates a healthy get-up-and-go attitude with a crippling lay-down-and-die approach to life’s challenges. When we focus on the negative, we miss…well, we miss the positive!

I said I was simple, not profound.

I am on a mission to rid myself of negativity. So far so…heading in the right direction.

One thing I have noticed in my battle against discontent is that, instead of being truly content as things are, I will sometimes use negativity to talk myself out of discontent. Even though I am much better than I used to be, I still sometimes use negativity to make what I don’t have look bad instead of using gratitude to make what I do have look good.

Confused? Here is an example.

The old me would subconsciously formulate unwritten lists of exactly what was wrong with every place I had ever dreamed of living, just to make where I currently lived appear that much better. And if I couldn’t think of anything bad, I would come up with a whole lot of worst-case scenarios that would undoubtedly happen if we moved there.

Somewhere there is a psychotherapist just itching to get a look at my brain.

The truth is, I can find joy anywhere. Life happens anywhere. Blessings rain down anywhere. But sometimes in life we pass through valleys, and, in my case, those valleys are laced with discontent and negativity. I have come a long way. I know I have, because when I hear others speaking the downer lingo, it hurts my sensibilities. But there is plenty of room to move on up the positivity scale before falling off into the oblivion of unrealistic.

Just as with kicking discontent, nixing negativity requires more than just trying harder. It requires a change in perspective.

Whenever a negative thought races in, I chase it out with a positive one. Gratitude, positivity, and a will-do attitude are powerful weapons, my friend. They help put the bad situations in perspective and keep them from overcomplicating life.

Oh, psychobabble! Perhaps, but it works.

What about those people who are downers in your life?

We all know people who can suck the joy out of a popsicle. Perhaps your joy-sponge is a parent, in-law, or spouse. You don’t exactly want to put them out on the curb with a “free to good home” sign. So why not become accountability partners! Ask them to join you in your pursuit of a positive attitude. Or play Pollyanna’s Glad Game with them by finding something to be glad about in every circumstance. Counter negativity with intentional joy. (Warning: negative people detest this. I know from experience; I used to be one. So do listen respectfully and be understanding before joying them.)

Give it a try. When the can’t-do, won’t-work, why-me whine sneaks up on you, pounce on it with a will-do, could-work, thank-God attitude.

Life is too precious of a gift to spend mired in negativity.

When you look for the bad in mankind,

expecting to find it, you surely will.

~Abraham Lincoln, as printed on the

locket of Pollyanna Whittier

Related link: Trevor Lund’s Live Above the Negativity is a 40-day challenge to eliminate negativity from your life. Well worth the five minutes a day!