We have reached the final Love in Action day devoted to loving our husbands. Don’t quit! Keep performing these loving actions throughout the rest of the challenge as well, even as we move on to loving our children. Don’t let those little cuties bump out your main squeeze.
Love in Action Day 7
Today’s action may in fact be one of the most important things you can ever do for your marriage and your man.
Listen.
Turn off your computer. Close your book. Teach the children to not interrupt. Put the cell phone on “Shush.”
Look him in the eyes and truly listen.
Don’t let your mind wander while he’s speaking. Don’t roll your inner eyes and grit your teeth, waiting for him to finish. Don’t think you know what he’s going to say and finish for him. Don’t spend your listening time thinking about what you’ll say or about a parallel story.
Respect him. Whatever he has to say is important enough to him that he wants to share it with you. He cares enough about you to make himself vulnerable by sharing his thoughts.
Give this the importance it deserves.
Then, kick it up a notch. Don’t just listen, but take an active interest in his life. Ask questions. Learn about his passions. Make them your own.
My husband and I benefit from this first hand.
My man was raised in the United States Air Force and developed a strong interest in airplanes, the crane-your-head-at-the-sound-of-an-engine-and-risk-life-and-limb-to-see-a-plane kind of boyish enthusiasm. He could accurately name a military or civilian plane by catching a mere glimpse on the horizon. It’s impressive, actually.
I was raised on a farm where I lived and breathed horses. I did homework on my horse’s back, shed tears into manes instead of pillows, and spent many a Wisconsin winter night sleeping in the barn to monitor a sick horse friend. I still have that girlish desire to inhale the sweet scent of horses and kiss their soft noses, even though I now tend sick children at night instead of horses.
Over the years, I spent many afternoons with my husband at the airport watching planes land, and I developed a fairly solid ability to identify several kinds of airplanes on sight. I even cheered him on as he worked toward his pilot’s license. Not bad for a country girl. He spent enough time listening to the crazy horse talk in this house, that he can identify a fair number of breeds, and even carted the whole family to the Kentucky Horse Park 2000 miles away. Not bad for a city boy.
He doesn’t have a plane, and I don’t have a horse, but we each have the knowledge that the other cares enough to listen, to dream with us, and to share our interests out of love.
Enough about horse-crazy girl meets airplane-nut…emphasis on “crazy” and “nut”!
What’s your story? What does your man love to talk about?
Learn to share his interests. It will make you both happier.
Remember, keep up the Love in Action throughout the next week as we focus on children.
For your listening pleasure: Enjoy listening together to two moving Nashville-produced CDs by my talented husband, contemporary Christian musician Stephen Bautista. Free song downloads are available on his site.
This Love in Action is linked up to Walk With Him Wednesdays at A Holy Experience.
We like the movie Fireproof and recently watched the first movie produced by the congregation who did Fireproof. It’s called Flywheel. Have you seen it? It gave us lots of ideas to talk and listen to each about. 🙂
Thanks for all of your husband-focused posts. My husband and I read them together. Great reminders for our most important earthly relationship.
Blessings!
Thank you for your comment, Sallie. I have not seen Flywheel, but would be very interested in watching it. Sounds like date night to me! 🙂 I appreciate the heads-up.
Blessings to you and your husband.
Christy
Work! My husband doesn’t want to, but he NEEDS to come home and talk about work. We both worked in the same industry for 20+ years (30+ for him), so I know all the names and scenarios. He needs to release the stress of the workday without judgment or without hearing, “Stop complaining and quit if you don’t like it.” He doesn’t want to quit. He wants to share. He loves it when I follow up on how things went with a certain customer, especially when I remember the names of key people. He really feels listened to. And I have to say, I enjoy being his go-to girl. Hubby’s work life is like a soap opera sometimes…. It reminds me how blessed I am to be at home!
What a wonderful wife you are to understand that need and share your time and attention! He is very blessed.
I’m here from Ann’s today.
Oh. the active listening. A girlfriend taught it too me once – but I only pretended to learn. Our Lord has taught it to me again – and now I can’t NOT do it.
And as a husband should cherish his bride and listen to here too – a bride who listens and encourages is every man’s best resume item.
Thank you for this.
God Bless and Keep You and your husband and your marriage
Thank you, Craig, and welcome!
You are so right–listening is crucial both ways. It says, “I cherish you!”
God’s blessings to you as well.
Thank you for this. Even after almost 12 years of marriage, reading this made me want to know him more, to listen more, and to get excited about his dreams instead of always trying to get him to hear and understand mine.
Your comment gave me goosebumps. 🙂
My husband loves it when I join him for shooting or whatever else he enjoys. Listening to him talk about computer games is hard to follow. Maybe I should play his game once so that I know what he’s talking about! LOL
That’s funny, Susan. I can totally relate. Just today my genius husband was explaining something very complex about the computer to this non-techie, country-girl. I had a flashback to watching football games together and never being able to figure out where the ball was. I wanted to say, “Just tell me when to cheer.”
My husband talks sports. sports. sports. and a little bit more sports. I have learned so much about football players, baseball players, golfing, Nascar…everything! Needless to say, prior to marrying my husband I showed up at Superbowl parties for the food and commercials..and to talk. Now I’m in fantasy football up to my ears, I beat him at Bracketology last year…and I’m about to learn about fantasy baseball. I’ve been to spring training games here in Florida, and all of my anniversaries have been spent at sporting events! In fact, our honeymoon was determined because I wanted to give him tickets to the San Francisco Giants game…so instead of Lake Tahoe…we were in San Fran for our honeymoon. I’ve just embraced the madness rather than try to fight it.
Embrace the madness! Ha ha! Atta girl! How did he take the Bracketology defeat?
Good question…verbally, he handled it just fine. However, he never lived up to his side of the bet…which was to paint the bedroom. But, good news, I’m beating him again this year..and if he loses he has to paint all of the downstairs. Yay!