Today is my 40th birthday. I know, I know, I’m supposed to lie about my age, but I don’t, and here’s why:
- I don’t look bad for 40, but I look terrible for 23, so…why go there?
- Nobody can call me a liar liar pants on fire.
- Every day is a gift from God. Why would I pretend He’s doted on me any less than He has. That’s not very grateful.
- The number 40 makes me sound wise enough to pull off a post like this one.
In honor of my 40th birthday, and particularly because of number 4 above, I’m sharing 40 things I’ve learned about simplifying. On your mark…get set…read!
1 – Humans can complicate anything, including simplifying.
2 – Simplifying is first and foremost a mindset.
3 – To do anything in life, especially something difficult, mere mortals need motivation. Find it. Mine is my family, peace, and joy.
4 – Less is more, true, but less is also less. If stuff acts as a security blanket, there are deep-seated emotions that need to be addressed before that stuff can be taken away. Nobody can throw out someone else’s stuff…although you’re welcome to get rid of mine!
5 – I love being able to reach into a drawer or cupboard to get something and know exactly where it’s going to be. I especially love not having to move anything else to get it. That’s motivation to not bring anything new into the house…or travel trailer, in our case.
6 – Empty cabinet space is my friend. You are my friend, too…but you may not put your stuff in my empty cabinet space.
7 – Stuff means clutter, and clutter means work, and work means time that could have been spent with loved ones or on something worthwhile that matters a whole lot more than dusting and organizing and cleaning and putting away stuff. (This is from my 12-year-old philosopher.)
8 – A child is happy playing with rocks and sticks. Why mess with that?
9 – A person can only wear one pair of pants and two shoes at a time without looking like a clown. Throw in a few extra so you’re not doing laundry every day and voila! Enough!
10 – Obligatory gift-giving has gotten out of hand. As my 12-year-old philosopher says, “If I can’t eat it, use it, or read it, I don’t want it.”
11 – I used to think that good stewardship meant keeping my things for a rainy day. Meanwhile, my rainy day stash was ruined by age and mini-disasters (otherwise known as mice) in storage. Now I define good stewardship as passing things on to others who can use them now, because maybe today is their rainy day. Part two of that is trusting that my need will be met on that eventual rainy day.
12 – An empty schedule is a thing of beauty.
13 – If an empty schedule scares someone, that someone needs to learn to enjoy being alone, being still, and being with family at home getting to know each other better as people, rather than mostly knowing each other as tasks on a calendar.
14 – The best times I have had with my family and with visitors is sitting at home with no activities, no television, no schedule, just talking and laughing…and eating.
15 – The best aspect of homeschooling is the simplicity–no buses, no bells, no parent-teacher conferences, no carpool, no pressure.
16 – We have had full schedules and empty schedules. When asked their preference, my children unanimously voted on empty schedules. I wonder if parents fill up the calendar for themselves, for the kids, or for society. We keep ours empty for simplicity, peace, and together time.
17 – I gave up keeping up with the Joneses when I realized that the Joneses weren’t heading where I want to be.
18 – I gave up keeping up with the Smiths when I realized that the Smiths had no idea what they were doing, and were only imitating the Joneses.
19 – I gave up keeping up with my own expectations when I realized, humbly, that my expectations were unattainable, unless I was willing to sacrifice joy, peace, and home on the altar of perfection. Unrealistic expectations complicate life.
20 – I gave up trying to meet other people’s expectations about two weeks after my first child was born (and again about every two weeks thereafter), because I realized that their expectations did not fit in with my family. Trying to please everyone complicates life.
21 – The word “need” is often confused with “want,” “might need,” and “am experiencing a momentary and illogical whim.” Ignore it.
22 – Money should be kept on a tight leash, giving being the exception…unless you are giving to a child (full-grown or otherwise) to fulfill a “need.”
23 – Getting rid of processed foods may initially seem like complicating life, but in the end it is simple, affordable, and healthy.
24 – Few things are as therapeutic as a walk outside with the man you love.
25 – Simplifying makes time for the important things, like a game of chess with my boy or calling Mom and Grandma.
26 – Screens are time-suckers. Turn. Them. Off.
27 – Use the word “no” often with others so you can use the word “yes” often with your family.
28 – Never volunteer without sleeping on it for a week, and discussing it with your husband and kids.
29 – Don’t let other people undermine the peace in your home.
30 – Homeschoolers need to set visitors’ hours, because some people think homeschooling means they can bring their kids over at any time to play with your kids.
31 – Answering machines and voice mail are excellent tools. Use them.
32 – It’s okay to wipe the slate clean and start over.
33 – Sometimes we need to go into crisis mode, and that’s okay. Handling the basics during that time (food, safety, and snuggling) is enough.
34 – The words “I can’t” are often synonymous with “I don’t want to.”
35 – Everybody has a different definition of simplifying. To me, simplifying is reducing clutter, stress, outrageous schedules, and anything else that robs me and my family of our joy.
36 – People should always be prioritized above ideals, possessions, pets, and pretty much anything else under heaven.
37 – Use your time, energy, and calendar space on that which is most important to you first, such as the children and dessert. Don’t save the best for last, because all-too-often there’s no room left.
38 – Never start one activity until the previous activity is finished, even if that means you’re eating bananas and popcorn for lunch.
39 – Simplicity (and the joy and peace that go with it) cannot be obtained over night. The little victories and improvements along the way are almost as good as chocolate…almost.
40 – Simplifying is hard work, but it’s worth it.
There you have it, friends. Forty years of wisdom condensed onto one page. It’s almost frightening how puny 40 years of wisdom looks.
Ah well, my daughter is making her amazing variation of these chocolate goodies for me right now, and I’m certainly wise enough to not be late for that party! I’m outta here!
Please share your simplifying wisdom in the comments below.
For a little glimpse into our family life on the road, check out A Day in the Life of the Travel Bags.
I loved reading your simplifying wisdom post. It really hit home with me. I also really enjoyed you sharing the pictures of your family with your readers. You have a beautiful family! I just turned 39 and I have come to realize several of the above 40 things need to start happening in my life so that my families life can improve. Our only son will leave for college in the Fall, and I think it set something off in me. Family time has always been important to us, but now that we will not have that chance on a daily basis, it is even more precious. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your family. It really made me think and smile today-what more could one ask for.
It goes too fast, doesn’t it?! All too soon the sleepless nights with a new baby are gone, and they’re off on their own. 🙁 I guess that’s what we’re preparing them for, but it still comes too quickly.
Happy 40th birthday! Doesn’t it feel great? I will turn 44 this year. I am struggling to simplify and to get those horrible processed foods out my life and also for my family. It is a bit hard to change decades of unhealthy eating, but I am taking baby steps. Thank you for this encouraging post. And thanks for sharing your wisdom. We never stop learning.
Baby steps–YES! It’s the only way to go!
You are correct in that we never stop learning. That’s one of the joys in life.
Thanks for welcoming me into the 40s club. 🙂
Happy birthday!! Thank you so much for this great list!! It is a blessing.
Thank you, Kimberlee!
Loved this post! Going to print it and stick it to my desk. Your post is fantastic but I really love the input from your 12-year-old philosopher. She really helped put things in perspective for me. 😉
She really got me thinking too…and regretting. But mostly she motivated me to continue moving forward on the path to simplicity! She’s brilliant. 😉
Less toys for my kids means less fighting, less clean-up, and more imagination.
🙂
Amen to that!
Happy Late Birthday!! I love the pics! What a blessing you have in your hubby and sweet family! I am gleaning from all your wisdom as 40 approaches for me….quicker than I want it too 😉
Hugs!!
Where did the years go?! 😉 Thanks for the birthday wishes, Tammy.
Thank you for sharing your list. It is full of wisdom. Just a year ahead of you in age, you share so much of what has been on my heart to impart to young moms. I am one of those who has made simplicity confusing at times, but am learning my lesson. May your 40’s be full of life and joy and simplicity!
I have always had a tendency to complicate everything too. But NO MORE! 🙂 Thank you for your well-wishes for joy and simplicity.
Happy birthday, and thanks for sharing your wisdom–that’s a birthday gift to us! 🙂
You’re a sweetheart. Thank you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY…..May your year be filled with much happiness and blessings from our gracious God. 40 is wonderful and keeps getting better every day. Hoping to see you again, maybe on this tour? Take care and God bless….
Thank you, Marty! God’s blessings to you as well!
Thank you so much for these posts on simplifying. They seem written just for me and my fast-approaching life changes. My husband and I (with our two children) are taking a huge step of faith and beginning the process of raising support to share Christ with Ireland. We will soon be traveling most of the time, and I’m trying not to get completely overwhelmed by it all – unclutter our house, how to eat healthy while traveling, how to occupy/entertain/involve a 3-year-old and a 9-year-old without a bunch of “stuff”, selling our house, and much more…. I absolutely need to simplify and organize, for the sake of peace and joy in my family, and out of necessity. Your advice has been such an encouragement to me, and is the motivation I needed. I’m adding your blog to my “favorites”. Thank you!
Yes, indeed, that is an enormous life change! Kudos to you for taking on that challenge!
I know it can be overwhelming, but you will find that, once you have gotten rid of the trappings of life, your kids and family will grow closer and be less dependent on things. Eating healthy on the road is more challenging, but doable. We face many of the same challenges on tour as The Travel Bags for Stephen Bautista Music. (www.TheTravelBags.com)
God bless you in your ministry!
Ah, what a pleasure this was to read. I have embraced simple living and I am blessed to have a wonderful simple living husband as well so we influence and inspire each other. We try to simplify not just possessions but relationships as well. I have noticed that men are naturals at simplification!
Aren’t they though! 🙂
Yes, yes, by all means, they are! The sooner a woman embraces that fact the simpler/easier her life will be! I wrote about it about a year ago: http://blog.kanelstrand.com/2012/02/step-2-simple-living-as-mens-trait.html
Thanks for posting that link for me. I spent quite a bit of time exploring your site this morning, and really enjoyed it. You have a new follower. 🙂
Ah, I’m glad I found you too, Christy! I feel like this is the beginning of a very fruitful friendship 🙂
Didn’t the cookies just go too fast? Good thing it’s Valentine’s Day soon…
Simplifying is totally worth it if it means eating popcorn for lunch. I think I took that out of context.
Happy birthday, Mother. I love you!
(Even if you are weird sometimes, and make me listen to Little House on the Prairie. 😉 )
Not weird, my dearling. Creative, unique, intriguing, unusual, independent, random. Speaking of random, way to sneak a plug for popcorn into your comment! 😉 Love you back!
I am so jealous but in a good way. 🙂 I want that! But right now I don’t know how to simplify my life. My husband and I both work from home. He has no file cabinet or drawers at all in his office, only a glass top desk with computers on it. Me: a huge desk (all cluttered), file cabinets, drawers, etc. I am jealous of his ability to be simplified like that, but I am running 2 side businesses, plus taking care of all the household bills, and my regular day job, plus 5 rental properties, (thankfully soon only 3 rental properties since I am selling some! Woohoo!) plus I have this nagging NEED to be prepared for the future so I have lists, catalogs, etc etc. for food storage, gardening plans, and tons of books on how to raise chickens, goats, etc.
I would LOVE someone to take control of my life and simplify it for me. I always say “when this happens I can finally do this…” etc. I don’t even have kids yet!
We do plan on moving to Central America and plan on cutting back on a lot of our “things”. We will start doing that soon. Like today. Maybe. 🙂
Today sounds like a good day to get started! Back when my life was uber-complicated, I remember picking one thing a day to get rid of. One thing. It was a start! 🙂
I came upon this site due to my want to fill my home with the aroma of fresh baked bread on this rainy April day. I will continue to visit this great place for insight and fun. Love this particular daily post. Life is good simplified. So is family and God. I will stop rambling for now … Thank you for your site! I enjoy it!
Thank you for your kind comment. Enjoy the bread, the site, the rain. 🙂