This is a message from Past Me to Future Me written on 10/17/12 and scheduled for nearly one year from now…today in your time.
Dear Future Me:
At the time of this writing, you were holding a sleepy baby whose big hazel eyes looked up at you as she nursed. Now you are facing her second birthday in a few short months. Did you use the time well? Did you look into her eyes and her world more than into this screen? Does she know that she’s loved, safe, wanted?
As a mother you were facing new territory: a teen learning to drive, a young lady wanting to start college early from home, a bit of the “Mother, you’re being annoying” that cuts at the heartstrings. And you treaded in some all-too-familiar territory: little girls transitioning into young ladies. Do they know they are valued, treasured, cherished above all else? Do they know God has plans for them and will not let them down? Do they know you think they are awesome?
Your boy. He was struggling with moving from little kid to big boy. He was mastering “pest.” Does he know he’s loved unconditionally? Does he know he’s appreciated and wanted? Does he know he’s a really neat kid? Does he know you really like him…a whole lot?
Your husband. He was finishing up his first year as a full-time music missionary. It was a frightening year. Now you’re in the midst of your second year. Does he know you support him 199%? Does he know you treasure him? Do you respect him? Do you laugh enough together?
And you. You were going to write that book. Did you instead write Facebook posts? You were going to have a great year with your kids homeschooling, traveling, helping them adjust to life on the road full time. Did you do that, or did you lose yourself in selfish pursuits of nothingness? How much time have you wasted borrowing trouble and worrying? How many moments have been lost to regrets and what-ifs? What has controlled you more: fear or faith? Have you worn a smile on your face and faith on your shirt-sleeve, love in your eyes and grace in your words?
Knowing you (me) the way I do, probably not enough.
Every new day is another chance, but every day gone by is a lost opportunity. Savor the moment. Seize the day. Squeeze the chubby cheeks. Laugh with the big girls. Ask to see that little boy’s muscles and ooh and aah over them. Hug them all. Kiss your hubby in front of the kids.
Tell them you love the…show them you love them.
Forgive yourself. Forgive others. And forget it.
And remember that tough spot your family was in last year, leaving your home for good, moving into a travel trailer, battling illness and fear, and building a full-time traveling Christian music mission? God’s grace carried you through, didn’t it? Remember that.
Now get off the computer and make your hubby’s coffee…and how about something a little pumpkin-y for breakfast. They would love that.
Love and a wake-up-call,
Past Me
“Be still….”
This is so poignant. Youch..it hits home too–” Did you do that, or did you lose yourself in selfish pursuits of nothingness?” How true. But i love your line about forgiveness. We do have to forgive ourselves if we haven’t been present like we should for our spouse and children.
I know this probably wasn’t easy to write–but when God gives you the words and the conviction to share it with others, you simply have to
Thank you for your comment. Amen to the forgiveness!
Usually I wouldn’t understand post on blogs, however desire to state that that write-up very motivated me to undertake the item! Ones way with words may be stunned me personally. Thanks, really good post.